Back Armageddon Outta Here
Chapters (21)
  1. Title Page
  2. Dedication
  3. Table of Contents
  4. The Timeline
  5. Introduction
  6. Across a Dark Plain
  7. The Horror Writers’ Halloween Ball
  8. The Lost Art of World Domination
  9. Gold, Babies and the Brothers Muldoon
  10. The Slightly Ignominious End to the Legend of Black Annis
  11. Friday Night Fights
  12. Myosotis Terra
  13. The Wondergul Adventures of Geoffrey Scrutinous
  14. Just Another Friday Night
  15. The End of the World
  16. Trick or Treat
  17. Get Thee Behind Me, Bubba Moon
  18. The Button
  19. Exclusive Peek at the Dying of the Light
  20. Copyright
  21. About the Publisher

“It’s because you know that it isn’t just a silly box and that isn’t just a silly button. You believe us, don’t you?”

“No, I… Oh, God. I don’t know.”

“Will you give us the box, Conor?”

“What will happen then?”

“We’ll take it somewhere safe,” said the girl. “We can’t dismantle it and we can’t destroy it – something might go wrong. But we’ll take care of it. We’ll hide it away where no one will ever find it.”

“It won’t be used to hurt anyone,” the man said. “I promise.”

“And me?” said Conor. “What will happen to me?”

The man hesitated. “I won’t lie to you. You’ll probably always feel that urge to push the button. That won’t go away. You’ll have to live with it for the rest of your life.”

“But I’m so close. I’m so close to leaving it behind.”

“We’re asking you to make a sacrifice,” the girl said. “We’re asking you to continue living with this so that the rest of the world can continue living. Please, Conor.”

More tears now, but they came silently. Conor lifted his finger from the button, and with his other hand he pushed the box slowly across the table. The girl came forward to take it. She wore a black ring, Conor noticed. For a moment it seemed to play with the shadows, and then the girl was lifting the box and stepping back, taking great care.

The last remaining dregs of strength drained from Conor’s body. He was exhausted, confused, scared, and all he wanted to do was lunge across the table and push that big red button before the girl took it away.

“Thank you,” said the man, and Conor just nodded.

The man looked down at something – a pocket watch? – and opened the door. “Two hours until midnight,” he said. “Should be loads of time.”

“Loads of time for what?” Conor asked, even though he knew the man hadn’t been speaking to him.

The girl walked slowly out, taking the box with her. Conor forced himself to remain where he was.

“There’s a woman who believes the souls of all her dead lovers are trapped in the centre of the earth,” said the man. “She wants to crack the world open to free them.”

Conor frowned. “Can she do it?”

“Yes. So we have to stop her before she kills us all.”

“But… but didn’t your psychics say that I’d be responsible for the end of the world?”

“Some of them did, yes. And some others said that she would. We’ve averted eight potential apocalypses already today, and she’ll be our last. Once midnight comes, we can relax. Then we just have to hope the Americans don’t mess up.”

“The Americans?”