Back Armageddon Outta Here
Chapters (21)
  1. Title Page
  2. Dedication
  3. Table of Contents
  4. The Timeline
  5. Introduction
  6. Across a Dark Plain
  7. The Horror Writers’ Halloween Ball
  8. The Lost Art of World Domination
  9. Gold, Babies and the Brothers Muldoon
  10. The Slightly Ignominious End to the Legend of Black Annis
  11. Friday Night Fights
  12. Myosotis Terra
  13. The Wondergul Adventures of Geoffrey Scrutinous
  14. Just Another Friday Night
  15. The End of the World
  16. Trick or Treat
  17. Get Thee Behind Me, Bubba Moon
  18. The Button
  19. Exclusive Peek at the Dying of the Light
  20. Copyright
  21. About the Publisher

I was a good kid. I never shoplifted, I never spoke back to teachers, I never even carved my name into my desk at school. I obeyed the rules and I never got the feeling I was missing out on too much by doing so. Obeying the rules meant a smoother life, all things considered. But when I saw the look on Pete’s face, when I saw how truly scared that idea made him, I saw a chance to prove myself.

“Sure I would,” I said, and I started round the house, testing the windows, seeing if any would open. When I got round the corner, I lost the confident smile and started praying that I wouldn’t be able to find a way in. It was dark round here, so I took out my flashlight, which glared back at me from the grimy window panes as I looked in.

Pete and the others came after me and I ignored them, adopting an air of casual indifference. They weren’t speaking. Not even Pete. Chrissy was wide-eyed. Three windows in a row were boarded up, so I could skip them, but I made a big show of trying to force open the ones on either side. Sadly, my burglary skills were not up to the task, and I stood back and exhaled in exasperation.

“Hey, look,” said Tyler. “You can get in here.”

He stood by the wall, lightly nudging open the narrow window at his foot. The basement window.

Everyone knew the story of Bubba Moon. When he died, they found all kinds of black magic stuff in his house. There were books and scrolls and all sorts of daggers and things, and there were jars of preserved human remains. That’s what my brother said, anyway. He said Bubba Moon used these human remains in his satanic rituals. I didn’t know how much of that was true, but what I did know for sure, what everyone knew for sure, was that when Bubba Moon’s dead body was found, it was found in the basement.

“Don’t,” said Chrissy.

“He said he’d do it,” said Benny. “Let him do it.”

“Will I be able to fit?” I asked, struggling to keep the tremor from my voice as I wandered over. It was pretty obvious I’d fit, but all I needed was for one of them to say something like I was too fat, or I’d get stuck, and that’d give me reason enough to back out.

“You’ll fit no problem,” said Pete. It had to be Pete.

I crouched, lifted the window, and shone my light in. There was a load of junk piled up, just like in any other basement.

“If there are rats in there, I’m not going,” I said. “I hate rats. No way am I going in if there are rats.”

The others crouched down beside me. More flashlights flicked on.