Back Armageddon Outta Here
Chapters (21)
  1. Title Page
  2. Dedication
  3. Table of Contents
  4. The Timeline
  5. Introduction
  6. Across a Dark Plain
  7. The Horror Writers’ Halloween Ball
  8. The Lost Art of World Domination
  9. Gold, Babies and the Brothers Muldoon
  10. The Slightly Ignominious End to the Legend of Black Annis
  11. Friday Night Fights
  12. Myosotis Terra
  13. The Wondergul Adventures of Geoffrey Scrutinous
  14. Just Another Friday Night
  15. The End of the World
  16. Trick or Treat
  17. Get Thee Behind Me, Bubba Moon
  18. The Button
  19. Exclusive Peek at the Dying of the Light
  20. Copyright
  21. About the Publisher

Tears in his eyes, Jerry launched himself up and ran into the wall. He rebounded impressively, gave a little whirl and staggered to the window. Clumsy hands fumbled at the latch. He finally raised it, glanced behind him to make sure he still had time, and in that moment the window closed. Jerry turned back and dived into the glass, cracking it and careering backwards. He collapsed on to the rug and curled up into a sobbing, moaning ball.

“Pleathe,” he lisped, “shtop hurting me.”

Tanith sighed. “We haven’t touched you, Jerry.”

“I seen a lot of things in my time,” Sanguine said, “but I ain’t never seen a man beat himself up before. That was highly entertainin’.”

Tanith walked over to Jerry as he continued to sob.

“Pleathe don’t kill me.”

“Don’t worry,” Tanith said, her voice soothing. “We weren’t planning on it.”

Sanguine looked at her, surprised. “We weren’t? Why not? He’s clearly an idiot.”

She glared. “We’re not here to hurt anyone. We’re here to ask some questions and leave.”

“But we’ll be killin’ him before we go, won’t we?”

Jerry squealed softly.

“No, we won’t,” Tanith insisted. “Violence is not always the answer, Billy-Ray. This time, Jerry here gets to live out the rest of his life in peace – understand?”

“Barely.”

She hunkered down and patted Jerry on the shoulder. “Don’t mind him, Jerry. He’s cranky. He’s used to being the only American in my life, but now there’s you. Jealousy is a terrible thing in a grown man, isn’t it?”

“I ain’t jealous.”

“Of course not, dear. Jerry, what do you say you answer our questions and then we leave you alone? Does that sound good to you?”

Jerry nodded.

“Good man. How’s your tongue?”

“I bith it.”

“I can see that.”

“Ith bleeding.”

“I can see that, too.”

He stuck his tongue out at her. “Ith it bad?”

His tongue was bloody and horrible. She took a small leaf from her coat and placed it delicately into his mouth. “Don’t say anything for a few seconds. Let that heal.”

Jerry blinked at her. His eyes were wet. He wasn’t an impressive human being.

“Show me,” she said, and he stuck his tongue out again. She nodded. “It’s healing. It was only a small bite. Now you can answer our questions, can’t you?”

He nodded, and she stood.

“You’re involved with a group of people, aren’t you? A group of sorcerers from different Sanctuaries around the world.”

“How… how did you know that?”