He bit his lip. Nervousness poured out of him. “Right. So. I’ll, uh…I’ll just come out with it. I don’t think you should go with him. I don’t want you to go with him. You know you got a place here. In case you don’t, I talked to Caddie and she says you’ve got a place here as long as you follow the rules, and she said she can’t imagine you not following them. I can’t either. And in case that’s not what you want, I’ve got other options. I mean, I know this place is no palace, right? So if you’re thinking of heading out with him ’cause of that—’cause this place is in shambles—you’ve got another option. I know folks going to Vilahna. A crew, and every crew could use another good violinist, yeah? So there’s Alamadour. You and I, we could go to Alamadour if you didn’t want to stay here. You don’t have to go with him. What do you think?”

“I don’t know,” I said.

Sorcha frowned. He leaned away from me. “You don’t know?”

“I don’t know.”

“What don’t you know?”

“It’s a lot to think on,” I said. “I can’t decide just like that.”

“Why not?”

“Because it’s a lot to think on.”

Sorcha let out a frustrated noise and fell back against the wall.

“Why are you mad at me?”

“I’m not mad. I just…really? You really got to think on it? He’s a leaver, Ariah. Up and left us and Liro, and he up and left you for months. I been here. I’m the one you called a ghalio, not him, and I’m still here. What, loyalty counts for nothing with you?”

Loyalty actually counts for very much with me. But loyalty is not a one-sided thing, and it’s rarely an even thing between two people, and despite all that had transpired I was still quite loyal to Dirva. It was the fact that I was loyal to Sorcha, too, that complicated things. “I’m not saying no! I’m saying I need time to think. That’s all. A day or two to think about it. I wouldn’t need that time if I didn’t want to go with you.”

He cut his eyes at me, petulant, like a half-grown boy. “You wouldn’t need time to think if you didn’t want to go with him, too, eh?”

“It’s complicated. It’s not just him. My parents are still there. I owe them…I don’t know what I owe them, but if I went with you I’d be throwing something away. It’s not just you or him. It’s all of it. Just let me think, yeah?”