“So you say. I am pure. Me and mine are pure. We only know as much about your so-called gifts as you tell us. Yes, sometimes the intrusion burns. But what if sometimes it doesn’t? How would I know? I wouldn’t. You and yours keep secrets from me and mine. I understand why. If I was like you, I would too. But, Mr. Lirat’Mochai, you must understand the position this puts me in. How can I trust you?”

“If you’re that worried I am dishonest, why not employ a shaper here?”

The guard laughed. “And trust that shaper to tell us the truth about you? Elves will stick together. No, that would be even more dangerous for us. But there are ways to ensure loyalty. I could, for instance, detain you, get you reassigned here, and work you under threat of prison if you don’t tell us the truth. It’s not perfect, such a thing. It does not prevent you from keeping things secret. And it certainly does not make my life or the lives of my men easier. All the time we’d lose just warding you off; think of all the lost time. But I could do it. Should I do that, Mr. Lirat’Mochai?”

“I do not believe so, sir,” I said. My eyes were still screwed shut. My voice was soft and trembling. “It is my secondary ability. I am not a strong shaper. I would be of little use to you.”

“You are of little use to me now.”

I dropped my face into my hands. “Are you going to detain me?”

“I haven’t decided.” Without another word, he left the room. I was alone but for a disinterested border guard posted at the door, one who I understood without having to be told would kill me if I tried to escape. I don’t know how long I was left there alone. There was nothing in me but the wordless panic, a visceral terrible thing that just kept on and on. I felt like I was being strangled from within, that my heart would explode at any moment, and time ceased to really matter. Eventually, the door opened, and the scarred guardsman told the man at the door I was free to go.

It was approaching dusk when I left the building. The sun sat low on the horizon, bloody and wounded. Dirva was waiting for me, flanked on either side by guards. I was a wreck, and I’m sure everything could be seen on my face, but his was meticulously impenetrable. He showed nothing at our reunion.