BooksBarbecue
Back Any Way the Wind Blows
Chapters (100)
  1. Title Page
  2. Copyright Notice
  3. Dedication
  4. 1
  5. 2
  6. 3
  7. 4
  8. 5
  9. 6
  10. 7
  11. 8
  12. 9
  13. 10
  14. 11
  15. 12
  16. 13
  17. 14
  18. 15
  19. 16
  20. 17
  21. 18
  22. 19
  23. 20
  24. 21
  25. 22
  26. 23
  27. 24
  28. 25
  29. 26
  30. 27
  31. 28
  32. 29
  33. 30
  34. 31
  35. 32
  36. 33
  37. 34
  38. 35
  39. 36
  40. 37
  41. 38
  42. 39
  43. 40
  44. 41
  45. 42
  46. 43
  47. 44
  48. 45
  49. 46
  50. 47
  51. 48
  52. 49
  53. 50
  54. 51
  55. 52
  56. 53
  57. 54
  58. 55
  59. 56
  60. 57
  61. 58
  62. 59
  63. 60
  64. 61
  65. 62
  66. 63
  67. 64
  68. 65
  69. 66
  70. 67
  71. 68
  72. 69
  73. 70
  74. 71
  75. 72
  76. 73
  77. 74
  78. 75
  79. 76
  80. 77
  81. 78
  82. 79
  83. 80
  84. 81
  85. 82
  86. 83
  87. 84
  88. 85
  89. 86
  90. 87
  91. 88
  92. 89
  93. 90
  94. 91
  95. EPILOGUE
  96. AGATHA
  97. ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
  98. Also by Rainbow Rowell
  99. ABOUT THE AUTHOR
  100. Newsletter Sign-up

I pull my wand out of my sleeve and hold both ends. “I’ll break it, Snow. I don’t care. I don’t need it. Not like I—”

“You’re not breaking your wand.” He tries to yank the thing out of my hands, but he ends up pulling me closer.

My face hangs over his. I’ve been yelling. I’ve been angry. But now I’m just … “Please,” I say, so quietly. “Please, Simon. Don’t do this.”

SIMON

His hair is brushing against my forehead. We’re both holding on to his ivory wand. The fight’s gone out of him, and that’s no good, because fighting is all I can manage right now.

“Baz…” I whisper.

He presses his forehead to mine. “Don’t do this. Don’t do this to me, love.”

“I have to.”

His head is rocking against mine, from side to side. “No, Simon. No. We can’t come apart like this. We’re not made of pieces that come apart.”

“Baz—”

“You can’t just give up on this. On me. Don’t you know what we have? It’s the sort of thing people dream about. They make potions to steal it.” He pulls his wand against his chest. He pulls me with it.

“I know,” I say.

And I do. I know.

I know I’ll never love anyone like I love Baz. I know he’s the love of my life. Of all my lives. The Mage believed in reincarnation. Of a thousand lives stacked on top of each other. “Some lives we squander,” he said. “And some we seize.”

This was my life to find love. The truest love. The biggest.

But it isn’t my life to have it.

I’m too … broken. I don’t know how to be close to people. I don’t know how to be quiet. When Baz gets like this with me … When he hands me his heart, I don’t know how to hold it. I want to scream. I want to run. Maybe it’s part of what the Mage did to me. He said he got me wrong, that I was a cracked vessel. I can’t hold on to anything good.

“Baz…” I’m still whispering. “I can’t be with you.”

“Because of magic?” His voice breaks on the last word.

“Because of me. I was never going to make this work.”

“Fuck.” He shudders. “You’re killing me, Snow.”

I’m killing me, too. There won’t be anything left of me after they take off the wings. “I’m sorry.”

BAZ

“I’m sorry,” Snow says. Like that’s a thing … Like that’s a thing that matters.

I push him away with my wand, then pull it back, out of his hand. He lets go.