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Back Any Way the Wind Blows Save as PDF
Chapters (100)
  1. Title Page
  2. Copyright Notice
  3. Dedication
  4. 1
  5. 2
  6. 3
  7. 4
  8. 5
  9. 6
  10. 7
  11. 8
  12. 9
  13. 10
  14. 11
  15. 12
  16. 13
  17. 14
  18. 15
  19. 16
  20. 17
  21. 18
  22. 19
  23. 20
  24. 21
  25. 22
  26. 23
  27. 24
  28. 25
  29. 26
  30. 27
  31. 28
  32. 29
  33. 30
  34. 31
  35. 32
  36. 33
  37. 34
  38. 35
  39. 36
  40. 37
  41. 38
  42. 39
  43. 40
  44. 41
  45. 42
  46. 43
  47. 44
  48. 45
  49. 46
  50. 47
  51. 48
  52. 49
  53. 50
  54. 51
  55. 52
  56. 53
  57. 54
  58. 55
  59. 56
  60. 57
  61. 58
  62. 59
  63. 60
  64. 61
  65. 62
  66. 63
  67. 64
  68. 65
  69. 66
  70. 67
  71. 68
  72. 69
  73. 70
  74. 71
  75. 72
  76. 73
  77. 74
  78. 75
  79. 76
  80. 77
  81. 78
  82. 79
  83. 80
  84. 81
  85. 82
  86. 83
  87. 84
  88. 85
  89. 86
  90. 87
  91. 88
  92. 89
  93. 90
  94. 91
  95. EPILOGUE
  96. AGATHA
  97. ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
  98. Also by Rainbow Rowell
  99. ABOUT THE AUTHOR
  100. Newsletter Sign-up

“Shepard, your firstborn…”

He squeezes my waist. “It’s all right, I told you—I’m not having kids.”

“Who gets your firstborn?”

“An imp. Or three.”

“Aren’t imps the same as demons?”

“Never say that to an imp.”

“How did this even happen?”

“We were playing impdice. I thought they were joking about the wager.”

“We are going to kill these imps.”

“Penelope…” He bites his lip again. “There’s more.”

“More? Your secondborn?”

“No, I’ve got dibs on that one…” He’s grimacing. “But I did lose my last name.”

Every time he talks, my jaw drops lower and my eyebrows climb higher. “How on earth did you lose your last name?”

“Told it to the wrong fairy.”

My hands are in the air. “How have you met so many fairies!”

“I fell in with a crew of them…”

“Shepard—hell’s spells, is your name even Shepard?”

“Yes! I only lost my last name. And I only ‘magickally and profoundly’ lost it; I can still say it, I can still wear name tags. There’s just one more thing—one more big thing…” He closes both eyes for a second. “I have a, um, well … I don’t have a sexually transmitted disease. But I am a carrier. Only other merpeople can get it. So it’s probably not relevant. Unless you want to sleep with a merperson. And also me. Me first. Which I’m not suggesting…”

Hell’s spells …

Shepard.

I climb off his lap.

55

SHEPARD

Penelope has the refrigerator door open. “I knew that Simon left some milk…”

The kitchen is behind the living room. I’m kneeling backwards on the couch, trying to get her attention. “It sounds worse than it is—‘mermaid venereal disease’…”

There’s a succulent in a pot on the kitchen counter. Penelope dumps it in the sink.

“I’m sure I can’t pass it to another human being,” I say. “It’s not even a disease, really—it’s tied to how they fertilize eggs—”

There’s a stack of mail on the table. Penelope picks it up and sets it on fire.

This is going so much worse than I expected, and I didn’t think it would go well. I sit back onto the couch and look for my glasses. I find Penelope’s glasses first and take them to her in the kitchen.

“Penelope,” I say holding them out to her.

She grabs my wrist and jerks her fist over my hand. “There will be blood!”

“What the fuck!” My hand is bleeding.

Her glasses are on the floor. She picks them up. “Hang on,” she says, “let me get a teacup for you to bleed into.”

“Why am I bleeding?”

“So that we can draw a door.” She holds a teacup under my palm.

“What? No!” No, no, no, no, no, no …