I know my affect is weird, I know you’ve noticed it, but now at least you know the reason. I’m not complaining. Though it has been hard and the accident more or less invalidated me for ordinary life, it also gave me true sight, however intermittently. It made me one of a handful of people on earth who see everything that happens around them, not just what the eye may focus on. You can’t imagine what that’s like. You really have no idea what there is to see in the streaks. Even when you can see them, with “shaky-cam,” your brain fights the image, which is part of the reason you find it so disorienting. The nausea is part of it too, but that has more to do with your own unconscious aversion to the sights those streaks are threatening to show you, not just the physical effort of focusing the eyes. Didn’t you ever wonder why something affecting your eyes would also make you feel like vomiting? Why would your vision have anything to do with your gastrointestinal tract? Food for thought, isn’t it?

I know you think I’m crazy and that I’ve corralled you here to rant at you about my problems; hear me out altogether, to the end, and then report me for a lunatic if you have to. Saccadic blindness is a thing, and I do not have it anymore. It is a scientifically verifiable fact that I can see things you can’t see under the usual conditions. If you are willing to examine my evidence, I can show you those things, too.

It took me a long time to understand what I was seeing. I’m thankful that the accident happened when it did. I was just old enough to be able to handle it. Well, I handled it with difficulty; there’s a world of pain and fear behind that word, “handling,” but I did handle it, and I am handling it. And I can show it to you. Don’t think I went to all this trouble just to harangue you. I can show you the evidence; I do have it. Don’t worry, I’m not planning on cracking you over the head! A camera can show you everything you need to know, once I teach you how to watch, and what to look for. And you do need to know this. You need to have the maturity to face what it means and to do the right thing. No matter how frightening all this is—and I know I’ve frightened you, and I’m sorry if I’ve had to—when you’ve seen it, all this will make sense. All of what you’ve seen—these are precautions you will understand the reason for soon, if you really pay attention and listen with an open mind. Can you do that? No, no—now. Right now.