Dr. Carroll called me into her office today. She was, as ever, collegial and understanding, but her questions clearly indicated that she had some doubts about me, and she has asked me to take time off. She mentioned Jordan’s case in particular. It didn’t take much on my part to inveigle the truth out of her; evidently Nurse Monro came to her after her rounds yesterday and told her that I had been carrying on a conversation with Jordan while she was completely unresponsive and, in fact, unconscious. I produced my handwritten transcript, which clearly proves that Jordan was actually answering me, and Dr. Carroll said she would talk to Nurse Monro again, but that she had been very particular about the patient’s condition. She insisted, in other words – and against my own direct assertion to the contrary – that Jordan had been unconscious during our interview. I asked her where, in that case, the remarks I had taken down had come from. She said she didn’t know, and that it was all a little confusing, but this was mere diplomacy. It’s obvious she thinks I was simply writing the responses myself, out of my own head.

I have received orders, masquerading as a request, to take what they are referring to as “administrative leave.” This means my relations with all my current patients are to be suspended, and I am to earn my pay by performing meaningless hospital paperwork from home. Since I am not entirely without friends here, I have been able to keep up with Jordan’s case, which has taken an alarming turn. It is possible, I have been told, that her bronchitis has developed into pneumonia. I have reached out to Dr. Carroll, stating that Jordan’s familiarity with me would make my presence fortifying in her struggle with the illness and that I have kept up with her case, even in her absence. This was, if anything, taken as a further sign of my over-involvement. I asked her, as politely as I could, who else was as qualified, not to say more qualified, than I am to conduct her therapy. I was told that her therapy was currently suspended, as the patient was unresponsive. Dr. Carroll showed a surprisingly unprofessional lack of interest in all the evidence to the contrary that I have in my possession.