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Chapters (21)
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‘Good morning, doctor,’ she said.

Pang also sat down, benevolence oozing from him.’ You won’t mind my sitting down a bit, doctor?’ Suddenly he gleamed with insolence, revelling in the knowledge he had, tasting his power. He was laughing at me, knowing me bewildered, knowing I had been hurt, enjoying it. ‘All safe and sound, brought back to you, eh doctor? I’m sure you were longing to see her again.’

The strangling fig tree of his insolence reached and twisted round and round me. He would torture me with this for many weeks.

I said: ‘Have you eaten your rice, Ah Mei?’ Knowing nothing but the ritual phrase to span the time, the space, the hurt between us, between my vision of her and what she was. I said to Pang: ‘You must be very busy at the office these days. There’s a lot of fighting going on at the moment.’

‘Oh, I’m not busy. Never too busy to come to see you,’ said Pang, beaming with insolence. ‘But I will go now. I’m sure you have a lot to say to each other.’ And then I knew that Ah Mei had also betrayed me to Pang, told what there was to tell.

*  *  *

She sat, smiling, clean as after absolution, her life, her moods, her thoughts, her intentions, her letters rifled, every corner of her mind explored … perhaps.

‘What a silly misunderstanding it all was, doctor.’

‘Was it?’

‘I mean … those letters. Of course I was only trying to better myself.’

They had finally understood, the Police at Headquarters, piecing the puzzle, writing it all down until it was plausible and reasonable on foolscap paper which would remain, as all files remain, tangible truth, truth written down, a testimonial and an enduring monument to Ah Mei’s soul; her thoughts, her emotions, her words, and her actions. What she was when she would have become something entirely different. When she was no more, her police file would remain, attesting that she had existed, had said those words, thought these thoughts, and performed these actions.

‘Now they understand my meaning,’ said Ah Mei.

It was all a misunderstanding. With fine compassion Ah Mei told me how Luke Davis and Che Ahmad had later apologized to her and to her mother for their roughness. Even Pang had joked about it. ‘Mr Davis is so rough at times. Too impatient. Still, better to be suspicious … grab them, shut them up on suspicion, don’t let them get away … that’s the spirit …’ All along, said Ah Mei, all the time she had been helping the Police, she had kept in mind the fact that she might be able to induce someone to come out of the jungle and surrender.

This matter she had discussed, she maintained, with the Police Chief, Mr Stallart, once or twice. With the difficulty of having to rely on interpreters, perhaps he had not quite understood her intentions.