‘I suppose you’re right.’ She rearranged her skirt. ‘It feels strange to worry about Maud now – it always used to be you who kept me up at night.’

‘I’m as healthy as an ox.’

‘That’s not what I’m talking about.’

‘Then what?’

She paused. When she did speak her voice was quiet. ‘You know, I didn’t realise how much I’d love you until you were born. It’s frightening, loving someone that much. I was completely fascinated. And then your sister came along – it’s funny, you look so much like Percy, but I see him more in Maud. You’re more like me.’ She brushed my hair away from my forehead. ‘That worries me too.’

‘Why?’

‘You inherited my temper.’

I shifted along the sofa to be closer to the fire, suddenly cold. ‘If you’re trying to tell me something, I don’t understand it.’

‘I know you think I was hard on you, as a child. That’s why. I wanted to bring you up to be a good person, and I had to rein you in.’

‘You’re joking.’

‘No.’

‘Did you never think that you made it worse?’

‘Look at you now, darling.’

I laughed once. ‘Quite. Maud and I turned out differently because you treated us differently.’

She shook her head slowly. ‘You were different anyway. Maud was always easy, always happy. You were difficult. And I was so young.’ She pressed the back of her hand against her cheek. ‘It made me feel so guilty. And you cried all the time – sometimes I just left you crying, and went out for a walk. I couldn’t bear how unhappy you were.’

I shook my head trying to get rid of the image. I was tired and felt almost like crying now, for my younger self, how abandoned I must have felt. Then Maud had come along, and loved me unquestioningly from the start.

‘You two must look out for each other,’ my mother said.

I found Sylvie sitting on the floor of the sitting room, Minnie sleeping in her lap. She didn’t look up when I came in.

‘Hello, darling,’ she said. Her voice was even lower than usual.

‘How are you doing?’ I asked. ‘Have you been outside today?’

She shook her head quickly.

‘Yesterday?’

Another shake.

I knelt by her side. ‘Tell you what,’ I said, taking her chin in my fingers and turning it gently towards me. ‘Why don’t we go dancing? I’ll take you to the 400 Club.’

She blinked. ‘No.’

‘What about a late supper? We can have bacon, eggs and beer, then go for a swim.’

She batted my hand away gently. ‘I don’t want to leave the house.’

I looked at her closely. Her lips were swollen, as they always were after bouts of crying. ‘What’s wrong?’ I asked.

‘I’ve done it.’

‘Done what?’

‘Killed her.’

‘What are you talking about?’