‘I went home, to see Maud. And I saw Freddie and Sylvie and that crowd.’

‘Oh.’ Her voice was still casual, but I felt her stiffen.

‘Sylvie’s husband died. Her first husband.’

‘Oh my God.’ She bit her lip. ‘Weren’t you friends with him? Was it a surprise?’

‘Yes – good friends. And a complete surprise.’

‘I’m sorry.’

‘Everyone liked Nicolas.’

She took my hand. ‘Are you sure you want to go out? We can go to the hotel and talk, if you’d rather.’

‘I don’t want to talk. And I’m hungry.’

‘I want to be here for you.’

For some reason her persistence annoyed me. I turned away to look out the window. ‘I don’t need to discuss it any more,’ I said.

Carlton’s was busy as usual, and noisy. Lucy seemed distracted during the meal, and towards the end we lapsed into silence. Afterwards, we stood outside the restaurant, side by side.

‘Where now?’ she asked.

‘Why don’t we take another walk in the park?’ I said.

This time I spread my jacket on the ground, and guided her down onto it. I hitched up her dress until her stomach was exposed. She lay there stiffly, her pupils large as she tried to catch my eye.

‘Do you love me, Theo?’

‘Of course I do, darling.’

I kissed her, and gradually worked my way down her body, feeling her chest rise and fall beneath me in quick, shallow breaths.

‘This is what you want, isn’t it?’ she said, when I reached her knickers.

‘Yes,’ I said. It came out as a growl.

I put my hand on myself, feeling it throbbing with blood, and my restraint evaporated; I was freeing myself with one hand, scrabbling at Lucy’s knickers with the other and then I was on top of her. Everything was painful for a moment as I pressed forwards, and I dimly heard a cry from her.

‘Shush, darling,’ I said.

I was moving inside her, feeling her warmth and a stickiness on me, and I gathered her in my arms, until our bodies were as close as possible and I was fully enveloped. I was whispering in her ear, not knowing what I was saying, and my heart was hammering in my chest as if it was going to burst, then finally the release and a moment of pure emptiness overtook me.

Afterwards, in the rickshaw, I held her in my arms and felt her shaking, as if she was crying, although she was completely silent.

Chapter Nineteen

‘They’re still complaining in the club,’ I said.

‘So I hear,’ Sylvie said. ‘Boy’s predicting a riot.’

‘Really?’ Maud asked.

‘Only if Byrne doesn’t stop talking about income tax.’

‘He won’t introduce it,’ I said.