‘I’ve been having these headaches,’ she said, pressing her fingers to her temples. ‘And I feel sick all the time.’

‘You’re not coming down with something, are you?’

‘You could say that.’ She picked up her teacup. ‘I’m pregnant.’

I felt my fingers and toes smart with a rush of blood. ‘What?’

She flashed me a half-smile. ‘It’s a bit of a surprise, I know.’

‘Does Mother know?’

‘I can’t tell her.’ She shook her head. ‘She – you won’t tell her either, will you?’

‘Of course not. What are you going to do?’

‘I’ll hide it for as long as possible.’ She leaned her elbows on the table. ‘We’ve talked about my going somewhere else to have it, then bringing it home and saying it’s Abdullah’s sister’s baby, and she died.’

‘So you’re going to keep it.’

‘If you can call that keeping it.’ She wiped her eye quickly with the heel of her palm. ‘I don’t want to pretend my baby is someone else’s. I want to have it here in the house.’

‘Maud –’

‘I know. But Theo, it’s my baby. I can feel it already in there, and I can’t describe it …’ She leaned back in her chair. ‘I feel like a lioness, like I’d kill anyone who came near it.’

Abdullah appeared and started clearing away the tea things. A look passed between them, and they smiled at each other. It was so exclusive, so full of something that I couldn’t recognise at first that I felt suddenly lost. All this time, I’d been following Freddie, wanting to be more like him, and he’d never been as happy as Maud seemed now.

Abdullah went back inside. Maud sighed.

‘I want you to be happy for me, Theo,’ she said. ‘I’m proud to have his baby.’ She placed a hand on her stomach and let her fingers flutter over it. ‘There’s no bad in him at all, do you know how rare that is?’

All I could think of now was Sylvie, doe-eyed and playing with the dogs, or brushing her hair in front of the mirror, curling up naked in bed with me. Sylvie in her dark moods, when the air seemed heavy; in her light moods when she laughed all night. Her generosity, secrets, backgammon, whisky sours, Sylvie being scolded by Noel for her carelessness, her smell, her hand slipping into mine. I’d never protected her, the way Maud and Abdullah did instinctively with each other. I’d always thought about the way she made me feel, not about her. I felt a gnawing pain inside. Maybe it hadn’t just been her using me. Maybe we’d been as bad as each other.

I took Maud’s hand and squeezed it. ‘Very rare.’

Her eyes filled with tears. ‘Thank you.’