‘Grief and anger have clouded your mind, but go . . . Si Omar is here, he will watch over you, guide you . . .’

‘Is that a threat?’

‘Only Allah can punish, my son, we are but his instruments.’

I was about to get up and leave, but I changed my mind.

‘Tell me, Imam, if you had power over the earth, what would your genocide be?’

‘What do you mean by that question?’

‘There have been a lot of genocides throughout history, what would our genocide be?’

‘You have been reading evil, sinful books. We have our own books, as you shall see, they will tell you that the only genocides have been waged against Muslim peoples.’

‘All the more reason . . . Who would we kill to even the score?’

‘Islam brings peace, my son, not war. When we come to power, people will be happy to convert to Islam.’

‘And those who refuse?’

‘Those who reject Allah, Allah will reject, there is no place for such a man on His earth or in His paradise.’

‘We’ll kill them?’

‘Allah will decide their fate.’

‘But he rejects them!’

‘He will punish them without mercy.’

‘Will he command us to kill every last one of them?’

‘We will do what he commands us to do.’

‘You see, that’s my problem: how do you go about killing six million Kafirs quickly, before they wake up and fight back?’

‘You’re talking foolishness, my son.’

‘You’re the imam. As a believer I have the right to ask you any question I like.’

‘Indeed you have, but I have told you, when Allah confers power on us, He shall tell us what we should do and how we should do it. As I said, we are instruments of His will.’

‘Can I make a suggestion?’

‘One does not make suggestions to Allah!’

‘To his representatives, then, so they can pass it on.’

‘I’m listening.’

‘The way I see it, you round the Kafirs all up into camps surrounded by electric fences, you gas all the useless ones straight off, the rest of them you divide into groups based on their skills and their gender, and you work them till they drop dead. Anyone who disobeys, you gas them. What do you think?’

‘I think you’re dreaming.’

‘I’m not dreaming, it’s been done before.’

‘The methods you suggest are barbaric, Allah commands that we kill the Kafir according to Muslim rite.’

‘You don’t get the point, Imam, killing six million Kafirs isn’t like burning some girl like Nadia, or slitting the throats of forty villagers in Aïn Deb. Half-arsed methods just won’t work, it takes productivity. When you’ve worked it out, let me know, I’ll drop by. Salam.’

‘Allah has cursed you, son of a dog.’