“I have to go.” Quickly, before she made a fool of herself.

“Anna, don’t. Perhaps I can—”

Her tenuous control broke, and suddenly the unfairness of it all poured across her until she stood drenched in outrage. “You can do what? Explain the reasons why you cannot marry a lowly governess?”

His hands fell free of her arms. “Lowly? I have never considered you thus. I spent the last eighteen years of my life trying to convince everyone, including myself, that the Elliot name is worth honoring. I have given everything I possess to make it so, and I cannot walk away from that. I gave my word to marry Charlotte. A man is only worth as much as his word, Anna. You wouldn’t want it any other way.”

Anna took a shuddering breath. He was right—she wouldn’t have him be any less honorable, any less true to his St. John heritage than he was. “Do what you must, Anthony. And so will I.”

She stepped around him, then walked slowly down the stairs. Her heart lurched with each step but she didn’t falter. She stopped to pick up her hat, and then she walked out of the house, too numb to feel anything other than the roar of emptiness.

Chapter 23

It is not enough to simply remove temptation. We must beat it away, burn it, suppress it, combat it with as much ruthless intent as we can muster.

Lady Burton in a letter to the Countess of Bridgeton, asking for sponsorship of a new effort to remove the sad effects of gin from the slums of London

The next week was an agony for Anna. Though Greyley did as she asked and stayed away, she was aware of his dark gaze on her. And she yearned for him, longed for him, even as she knew it was impossible. Lady Putney seemed aware that something was amiss and she made no secret of her disapproval.

Once Anna came upon Anthony in the morning room and they had stood transfixed, not speaking, but neither of them making an effort to leave. It was as if a secret thread tied them together. Thin, but as strong as steel, it bound them even as it separated them one from the other.

To protect herself from the yearnings in her heart, Anna’d taken to keeping the children near and, when they were not, she found someone else to serve as impromptu chaperone.

Fortunately for her, Greyley’s cousin, Rupert, seemed more than willing to be her constant companion. Anna found him an unexpectedly merry cohort, willing to assist her with all manner of projects. She even took him to visit Charlotte, though she made him wait in a copse of trees a small distance from the house. As much as she enjoyed Rupert Elliot’s company, he was not the type of young man she would introduce to an impressionable girl like Charlotte.

Anna also did what she could to stay busy, though all the while she lusted for Greyley, dreamed of his hands on her, imagined his body against hers until she knew that she could not remain at Greyley House much longer. As soon as the children were more established with Lily, and Charlotte was more confident, then Anna would leave.