“My dad gave me my camera for my birthday. I was surprised because sometimes he forgets my birthday entirely, but it’s a really nice camera and I wanted to use it right away. I took a picture of my mom. She didn’t notice me, so in the photo she’s looking down into the sink with a blank stare. But there’s something about the curve of her back that matches the line of a hanging plant in the kitchen. It looks like she grew there. Like she will always live in the kitchen.”

I’m not sure how much he heard over the storm, and I don’t get a chance to ask. We’re only feet away from solid ground when I take my turn at losing my footing, but unlike Nolan I don’t catch myself. My legs stumble into the water, my ankle knocking against the side of the ledge with a painful thump. I let go of Wally’s collar and Nolan’s hand before I can drag them down with me, confident I can make it the last few yards to shore on my own.

Though my feet can reach the lake floor, waves bash over me, blurring my vision and rendering me immobile. I reach out to grasp the rocks of the peninsula as a guide, but my fingers curl over air. I choke as sprays of water trickle into my lungs.

When my eyes clear between waves, I look up, expecting to see Nolan frozen on the walkway, but he’s gone. He’s fallen, I know it. I kick against the floor of the lake, my foot connecting with something large and moving.

Nolan grabs my forearms, pulling me through the angry waves to his chest, a look of pure resolution plastered over the terror on his face.

“Nolan! I’m fine,” I yell, unsure if I’m lying. Everything beneath my waist aches.

Nolan doesn’t answer, and he doesn’t let go, which turns out to be necessary. My ankle begs for me to stop, with each flog of the waves. When we’re a few feet from shore, a displaced rock smashes into my injured foot and I can feel a scream vibrating up my throat, though I don’t hear it. Nolan stoops, tries to grab me behind the knees and hoist me, but another wave knocks us both into the shallow water.

Maybe Jenna and the clever wind want me to die out here, to give my last breath to Nolan and Wally and let my body float out past the chorus of whales to wherever Jenna is. Maybe this is why I’m so conflicted about my future … I’m not supposed to have one. I close my eyes and imagine never opening them, to see how it feels.

But I remember Nolan and jerk my eyes open, scrambling to find my footing in the water. He’s still half holding me, dazed.

“Are you okay?” I ask, pulling on his shirt when he doesn’t move. “Nolan, answer me!”