Sonja flushes, whether with anger or shame I don’t know. ‘What do you mean?’

‘Well, I’m deaf and he’s blind. I mean, there’s a definite pattern emerging here.’

‘I don’t have to answer that.’

‘No, you’re right, you don’t. But it might be worth thinking about. Maybe it’s that you need to be needed. Is that it?’

I can see that she’s angry rather than shamed. She stands suddenly, knocking over her glass, which spins, fanning red wine over the wood of the table. ‘I’ve never pitied you.’

And now I know she does because I’ve never mentioned this. ‘Pitied me?’

‘Never. And you’ve never asked for my help.’ She strides across the room, jabs her finger in my chest. ‘I have always given it because I wanted to. When I first met you there was something about you that made me love you. I didn’t want to because I knew it would always be harder than it should be and it has been. But don’t think, don’t ever think, that I didn’t love you.’

It’s as if I’m hearing the letter my mother wrote me about Dai Davies. I’ve heard all this already, years before. ‘Right.’

I walk away from her, close the door behind me.

Dr Laws puts down the phone and looks appraisingly at me. ‘This is not ideal, John. I’ve managed to arrange for the audio unit at Derriford to take over your care but I’d much rather you stayed and finished the course of treatment here.’ I say nothing.

Dr Laws takes off his glasses and pinches the bridge of his nose. ‘It won’t help if you’re stressed. It might slow your recovery time. It may even affect the outcome of this.’

How can I explain to him that to stay here in Bristol would be worse than leaving?

‘We’ve known each other a long time, John. I have to say I’m really quite shocked about you and Sonja. I always thought that the two of you were very happy.’ He plays with his glasses, swinging them by the earpiece as he looks at the view of Bristol from his office window. ‘But, then, what do we know about other people’s lives? It’s all guesswork. I’m sorry, though. It’s not come at the best time for you.’

And when would be a good time to leave your wife? I wonder. Are there best times, right words that I don’t know about? I think you should be the one to tell him, since you will find the right words.

Dr Laws sighs. He looks old and tired, incapable of smiling wolfishly. Ah, well. I hope that everything works out for you. The operations have been a success so far, anyway. I wish I was seeing you through to the conclusion but the team in Plymouth is as good as any. Let me know what happens.’

‘Right.’

‘I mean it - let me know. They’ll tune your electrodes in two weeks’ time and you’ll know then if it’s been successful. But don’t forget that they retune them after three days, fine-tune them. So if the sound is distorted at first, don’t panic. You remember, don’t you, that you still won’t hear much? You won’t be able to hear music properly, you’ll just hear the rhythm. You’ll be able to hear traffic, clear conversation but not quiet sounds, especially if there’s a lot of background noise.’