“Pretty much as soon as I met her.”

Well, at least she didn’t lead him on, thought Randy.

“I picked her up,” continued Chad. “And she got in the truck. And we’re backin’ outta her driveway—and all of a sudden, she started breathin’ hard and coverin’ her mouth and nose with her scarf and asked me to stop. And she got outta the truck and said she was sorry and that I was a nice guy—but she couldn’t go out with me because she didn’t like the way I smelled, never had.”

“What?!?” Randy winced.

“And she slammed the door and left me sittin’ right there in her driveway.”

Randy was stunned. “’Cause she didn’t like the way you smelled?” he asked in disbelief.

“Yeah.”

“Well what kinda…?” Sally was a really nice person. But telling someone that you don’t like the way they smell on a first date … is just not nice. And didn’t sound like the Sally Dunleavy Randy knew. “Well, want me to talk to her?”

“No.”

“I could talk to her.”

“No!” Chad really didn’t want Randy to talk to her because he’d probably just yell at her, because that’s how he dealt with people who crossed his friends.

“Jeez.” Randy sneered a little and got a little sad because he really liked Sally and thought she and Chad would make a great pair. Then he laughed a little and tried to make light of the situation. “I mean, I don’t mind the way you smell.”

“Thanks,” snorted Chad.

“And, you know,” continued Randy, “I don’t think this is about you and the way you smell. This is about her. I don’t think she’s ready, yet. For dating. ’Cause I don’t think she’s over Tim. It’s only been a couple months. And she’s tryin’ to get herself out there again, but she’s just not ready, you know. That’s all it is, pal.”

Chad didn’t say anything and just took a swig of his beer. And wondered if what Randy had just said was true. And decided that it definitely wasn’t and that Randy was just trying to make him feel better. “Whatever,” he shrugged.

Randy and Chad sat in the northern Maine silence and drank their beers.

And then Chad laughed a little and realized that he had actually come to enjoy telling Randy about his dating disasters. There had been several since they started dating again after their longtime girlfriends dumped them a couple years ago. Jenny Lovely broke up with Chad because she felt like she didn’t make him happy. And that didn’t make her happy.

And Kelly Clockadile broke up with Randy after they had a big blowout one night. She said she was tired of his temper.

So Chad and Randy found themselves single again. And they probably should have stayed single and done some work on themselves. But they weren’t the kind of guys who did work on themselves. Maybe because they didn’t like themselves very much.

So they started dating every chance they could. Because they thought they’d definitely like themselves better if they could find a couple of girls who liked them.