“Whoa, okay, relax,” said Randy. And he felt bad that he had been so wrapped up in how awful his own date had gone that he hadn’t bothered to check to see how his best friend’s date had gone. And, while he was sure that there was no way that Chad’s date had gone worse than his, Chad had just kind of lost it a little. So maybe it had gone worse. So Randy offered his buddy a Natty Light—and the proverbial floor—and said, “Let’s hear it.”

Chad cracked the beer open. And took a swig. And didn’t say anything for about a minute. He was really hurting. And Randy was concerned. Because Chad looked sadder than Randy had ever seen him look—sadder than he looked when his rabbit died. And when his grandpa died. And when his last girlfriend broke up with him. In fact, Randy hadn’t seen Chad hurt like he was hurting since he was eleven—when he burned half his house down when he was playing with sparklers indoors.

Randy felt his ears and his head and his neck get all hot, because he felt like Chad was going to cry, and he didn’t like crying. And he had dealt with a lot of crying that night already.

So he looked away from Chad and tried to figure out if he was going to stay or go—and he almost got up and left. But something inside him told him he needed to stay. So he did. And he looked at Chad and said impatiently, “What’s up, bud? What happened?”

Chad was about to answer when his breathing hitched. And a wave of sadness overcame him. But he quickly pulled himself together and began his sad story. “She said she didn’t like the way I smelled.”

Randy looked at Chad. And then furrowed his brow and screwed up his face and shrugged and asked, “What?!?”

“Sally told me she didn’t like the way I smelled,” repeated Chad. “Never has.”

Sally Dunleavy was the receptionist for Visiting Nurses of Aroostook in Fort Kent. She and Chad had known each other for years, and when Chad called to inquire about getting care for his mom while she underwent breast cancer treatment, some unexpected sparks flew, and Chad almost asked Sally out right then and there—but then didn’t, because he remembered that Sally was dating Randy’s cousin Tim. But a couple of months later, when Sally called to let Chad know that a new nurse named Pam would be looking in on his mom, she surprised Chad and asked him out. Apparently, she wasn’t seeing Randy’s cousin Tim anymore. So Sally and Chad went out on a date on the Friday night when all the extraordinary things did or didn’t happen. And it hadn’t gone so well.

“Sally Dunleavy told you that she didn’t like the way you smelled?” asked Randy, flabbergasted.

“Yeah.”

“When?” Randy really wanted to know when you would tell someone you’re out on a date with that you don’t like the way they smell.