CJ’s eyes hardened. “We were two feral kids who thought that nothing could stop us. We were dumbasses.”

True. Gavin had been grieving for his loving parents and seeking ways to forget his pain. CJ had been kicked out of his house for being gay. No warning, no anything, just forced out with only the clothes on his back, leaving him to the streets.

Luckily, his older brother had taken him in, and Gavin had been grateful. Even then he’d known he was going down the rabbit hole, feeling lost and completely unable to help CJ, because he himself had been so troubled. And he’d found his trouble, often. The memories gave him the opening he needed. “I screwed up.”

CJ nodded. “Yeah, you did.” He turned to go.

Unable to let him leave, not like this, Gavin pressed him up against the door to stop him, but something else happened. A bolt of not-so-forgotten hunger and desire coursed through him.

And given the way CJ sucked in a breath, he felt it too. Slowly he turned to face Gavin.

“I was young and stupid,” Gavin said, looking him right in the eyes.

“And now you’re . . . not young and stupid?”

Taking heart that CJ hadn’t shoved him away, he shook his head. “Well, I’m working on it.”

They stared at each other, the air crackling between them. Yeah, the spark was still there. And by spark, Gavin meant out-of-control, raging wildfire.

But CJ shook his head. “Not going to fall for that again, Gavin. Or you.”

Gavin tried not to react, because he knew that was hurt talking. And yeah, he had a lot to make up for. He’d known what CJ’s family had done to him, how they’d turned their backs on a sixteen-year-old kid, leaving him to fend for himself in the world. And then, several years later, Gavin had done the same damn thing. He didn’t deserve forgiveness, but he wanted it anyway. “You don’t feel anything?”

“Didn’t say that.”

Gavin looked at him, really looked. CJ had changed, going from lanky kid to one hundred percent man, and Gavin was shallow enough to admit that the new muscles and rugged, tough look was hot as hell. But besides the superficial shit, there was more. CJ’s eyes weren’t as cold and unfeeling as they’d been at first. The cop had given way, making room for his old best friend and first lover.

And like Gavin, CJ was most definitely not having coplike thoughts, because his eyes darkened the way they always had when he’d been aroused, and relief and hope filled Gavin. “You know if thought bubbles appeared over your head, you’d be screwed, right?”

CJ snorted. “Yeah. But luckily I no longer act on my impulses. You should try that.” And then he shoved Gavin away and walked out the door.

Chapter 12