Gavin peeked into the closet. They all scooted to make room for him. “What’s going on?” he asked. “My food’s fuckin’ awesome and you’re all in here inhaling Cheetos?”

Again, Cam looked at his dad.

Emmitt blew out a sigh. “Okay, I’ll tell you. But it’s embarrassing.”

“More embarrassing than the Bean giving me gas in this tight space?” Winnie asked.

Piper sighed and fanned the air in front of her face.

“Sorry,” Winnie said. “I’m growing a parasite. Literally.”

“Dear God, man,” Gavin said to Emmitt, gagging dramatically. “Tell us the problem so we can get out of here.”

“Okay, okay!” Emmitt tossed up his hands. “You invited all my girlfriends to this thing. What the hell were you thinking?”

Piper met everyone’s gaze. They were all as confused as she was.

“Girlfriends, as in plural?” Cam asked.

Emmitt nodded.

“But I thought you were seeing Margaret.”

“Yeah. And Sonya.” He grimaced. “And Carol. And Danita.”

The look on Cam’s face was priceless. “You’re dating your dentist, the grocery store clerk, and your barber?”

“What?” Emmitt said defensively. “My doctor told me to live a healthier life, and I am. Sex is healthy.” He turned to Piper. “Right?”

Piper opened her mouth, and then shut it.

Cam looked pained. “How in the world are you even finding that many women who want to date you? No, wait, don’t answer that. I don’t want to know.”

“It’s all done online now,” Emmitt said. “I just searched for all the single women in the area who were on the same dating app as me. Jeez, son, how do I know this and you don’t? I’m the old one. And it’s not like I’m doing anything wrong. Everyone knows if you connect with someone on an app, you’re not exclusive. But that doesn’t mean they’re going to enjoy running into each other in person.”

“You’re sleeping with four women,” Gavin said slowly. “On your fifty-sixth birthday.”

“Well, not at the same time,” Emmitt said modestly.

Gavin grinned and tried to high-five him.

Emmitt closed his eyes and thunked his head back against the wall a couple of times.

Another bag of Cheetos, unopened, fell onto his head.

Winnie nabbed it for herself before Piper could.

Gavin didn’t stop grinning. “You’re my idol.”

“I’ve got no idea how to handle this,” Emmitt said.

“You think you don’t?” Cam muttered. “Try being your son.”

“I know how to handle this,” Gavin said. “Watch and learn.” He slid out of the closet.

They all crowded up to the door, ears up against it as Gavin hit his first mark, who’d just moved into the kitchen.

“I’m looking for the birthday boy,” Sonya cooed at Gavin.