She frowns at me. “I know how you are when you are excited about something. And this isn’t it. After all, I was there the day we learned how to graph sentences in Language Arts, remember?”

Oh, that was a good day.

“Truth?” I ask, and she nods and assesses an electric blue top against my skin. “I like someone else.”

She shrugs. “So?”

“Two someone else’s,” I add.

Her eyes practically glow at me. “Well, this just got interesting.”

“Does that make me a slut?”

Cue eye-roll. “Being attracted to more than one man does not make you a slut, Penelope. But also, stop saying slut like it’s a bad thing.” She smiles at a woman wearing a blonde helmet-bob haircut and a disapproving scowl as she passes us. “Having a healthy sexual appetite is good for you. And normal. And fine. Just don’t promise someone to be exclusive unless you actually are exclusive. That’s bad juju.”

“So I shouldn’t disclose to Jones that I’m attracted to two other guys?”

“Well, not over mozzarella sticks, no. But if you guys get intimate, you might want to make sure he understands that you’re still seeing other people right now and don’t want to stop.”

“And that is socially acceptable?”

“Yeah, of course. If you guys have sex on date number one, it’s pretty much a given that it’s a hookup but with potential. If you hold out for date three, he might assume you’re a couple, though. So, make sure you know how you want to go on.”

“This is confusing. What if we have sex on date two then?”

She shudders. “Just don’t. That’s no-man’s land and the rules are foggy.”

I hold the hanger she shoves into my hand. “That makes no sense at all.”

“Who told you this was all supposed to make sense? Men are weird. They’re hard enough to figure out when you know what you want, but if you’re still exploring, it’s even worse.”

“Why do we put ourselves through this then?”

“Penises,” she answers matter-of-factly. And we dissolve into giggles when helmet-bob woman huffs from the next aisle over.

The outfit Jenna styles for me includes the electric blue top. It’s a color I don’t normally wear, but it’s not crazy. I kind of like it. It’s less comfort-zone but not out of the galaxy for me. We also spend about an hour in front of the bathroom mirror practicing mascara when we get back to the house. Much to the chagrin of Shane who ends up taking a piss in the yard, according to him.

I still don’t like the way she eyes him up. Like he’s a cupcake and she’s on a diet, but she’s calculating the calories in her head just in case.