I don’t think anymore. I’m all animal now. I’ve gone someplace new and dark and dangerous. I gently start sucking on his balls while he pumps our girlfriend’s pussy. After a few minutes of this, I move up and start sucking one of her tits, keeping my hand on her clit and feeling my best friend brushing up against my hand with every one of his strokes.

I make eye contact with Fletch. My best friend. My apparent housemate for life, and I go back down and tongue my best friend’s testicles until he starts coming.

I’m faced with a couple of choices here, but I’m the hedonist. I’m the reckless one, right? So I taste him, taste the mixture of them both as the overflow trails down his sac. Penelope holds my head there, stroking my hair, calling me baby, and I become a man possessed of getting every last drop.

I come without ever touching my own dick.

Chapter Twenty-Three

One week later

Penelope goes to talk to her old RA who is still at the dorm to figure out the logistics of moving for real, and Fletch watches me warily as we very much don’t talk in the living room.

“Relax, bro. I’m not going to attack your dick.”

His jaw squares. “What are you talking about?”

“You’re acting like you’re afraid of me. It was just a thing. It seemed like a good idea at the time, but we’re not full-on bromosexuals or anything.” He’s not really looking scared. He’s actually looking at me like I’m going to melt down and he might be right, so it’s easier to push it off on the other night.

“It was just at thing?” he asks, emphasis on thing.

“Yeah. It just seemed like a porny thing to do, so I went for it. By the way, you come a lot.” I can feel my pulse ratcheting up in my throat. He can probably see it it’s pounding so hard. I don’t know how to do this. I think I screwed everything up. Which is what I do best.

“So, the thing, it had nothing to do with how you feel about me or Pen? It was just sex.”

“Yeah, that’s what I’m saying.”

“Bullshit.”

“What...fuck. Are you all phobic now? Fine, it won’t happen again.” The metallic taste of fear floods my mouth. Please don’t let me have ruined this. He’s the only person I ever trusted until Penelope. The day she declined to lock up her journal from me and just trust that I wouldn’t read it and hurt her. Nobody has ever given me what these two have.

“You love us.”