“That’s the hottest thing ever,” Shane says, saving me from delving too much further into my cave of shame. “What do you like to watch?”

I pull my legs up so I’m sitting cross-legged and push my glasses up my higher on my nose. “I’m fascinated by all of it really. The men are better looking in the gay movies, but I occasionally like the lesbians too. Except for toys. I don’t think I like toys. The fetish stuff is a little too adventurous for me also.” I realize I’m being very clinical, which is how I’ve approached my porn habit from the start. “But mostly I just watch for the penises.”

Shane starts laughing and Fletch drinks his beer fast. “Gonna get some more beers.”

“I’m making this weird, aren’t I? That’s why he left the room.”

“Velma, it’s super-hot to hear you talk about penises. Fletch doesn’t like to think of you and super-hot in the same sentence. I don’t mind, though. Tell me more about your thoughts on dick.” I love how open he is. I could learn a lot from him about relaxing. “And do that thing with your glasses again while you talk. I love that.”

“This?” I push my glasses up, though they slide right back down because my forehead is frowning so hard. “Why do you like that?”

“It’s like this nuclear combo of you being nerdy but also thinking about cock. It’s hella hot.”

I shrug. “Well, as you know I have no firsthand experience with penis.”

“Cock,” he interrupts. “Cock or dick. I want to hear you say cock or dick.”

“Penis is wrong?”

“Penis is clinical. Cock sounds hungry.”

“Okay, I have not had experience with cock.” Huh. He’s right. I blush. “So I study images.”

“When you study, Velma, you really study, right?”

“Well, yes. I tend to pay attention to detail. I like to research thoroughly. Is this turning you on?”

He chuckles. “Fuck, yes.”

Fletch comes in and hands us both a beer. “Sorry I got weird. I’m still trying to figure out that you’re not my kid sister’s friend. And, well, it’s awkward sometimes.”

“I get it.” I reach for the remote. “I want to see what you guys picked out.”

Fletch takes it from me. “That’s a big no. It’s not because I’m trying to keep you innocent. It’s just a guy thing.”

“A broment, if you will,” Shane adds.

“Shut up, Shane.” To me, Fletch says, “It’s not reflective of—”

“Reflective?”

“Shut up, Shane.”

I try again for the remote. “Fletch, I promise I won’t be offended by your porn.”

“No.”

Shane takes pity on Fletch. “What he’s trying not to say is that we jerk off, and that is not an activity we wish you to witness.”