“Nothing.” I turn away from my bed, and my pastier than usual face greets me in the mirror. I can see the reflection of the mattress behind me, though, so I close my eyes, not eager to see that any more than my own reflection. Buck up, Pen. I don’t want Jenna to worry about me. She’s too far away to do anything, and she needs to enjoy her college experience even if I’m not enjoying mine. It’s important to me that she doesn’t feel guilty or dragged down by me. She’s so talented—she deserves to have this time to develop her gifts and have fun. She’s taken care of me too long—she needs to be free for a while. Do her own thing and not have to worry about anyone but herself. “How is school?” Maybe if I can distract her—

“Penelope. What. Is. Going. On? I can tell from your voice you’re not okay. Why aren’t you okay?”

I hesitate. Once more, I try to talk myself down. It’s possible that the words have been in that mattress for years. Maybe I just didn’t notice them. Then I remember how Sami put padlocks on her dorm closet because she knew I was wearing her t-shirts at night while she slept. How sometimes I wake up with that creepy sensation that I’m being watched—and Sami is staring at me from her bed across the small space that divides us.

I shudder again. I don’t know how to do this peopling thing without Jenna. But it’s not fair to drag her into this.

“It’s all good, Jenna.”

“You’re pissing me off. Are we not best friends anymore?”

I blink. “Of course, we are.” We will always, always be best friends.

“Then don’t keep things from me. We’ve never kept stuff from each other before. I mean, I know we don’t live close to each other anymore, but if I knew moving to California was going to ruin our friendship, I wouldn’t have come.”

“It’s not. I promise. You will always be my best friend. I just don’t want you to worry.”

I tell Jenna about my mattress, trying to make it sound as innocent as possible. It’s a non-issue. It’s fine. I throw the sheet back over the evidence to the contrary so I don’t have to look at it.

She freaks out. “You have got to move. Go to the housing office right now.”