“Mostly you.”

“Baseball season hasn’t started yet. I don’t think it’s going to be easy for you both then.”

Fuck. “We’ll get through it. Come on. Let’s get dinner started so we can decorate this tree tonight.”

After cookies and cocoa (laced with booze) we all laid down under the tree and looked up at the lights. “This is the best Christmas I can remember,” she says, and it gets all warm around my heart region. “Shane, you really outdid yourself.”

“I had a really big elf helping me.”

Fletch nudges my side. “She’s right man. You have this way of making ordinary things really special. Whenever you throw a party or plan something, it’s always epic.”

I’m going to blame the heat of the lights, even though they are LED, for the reason my face feels hot. Because I am not blushing. I’m not.

“He has a way with Halloween costumes,” Velma says, and my cock starts pressing against my zipper remembering that night.

“That I do, Velma, that I do.”

We’re quiet for a few more minutes, and I’m feeling about as good as I ever have in my entire life. I grew up always waiting for the next bad thing, and sometime in the last few months, I’ve started waking up wondering what great thing is going to happen today.

This could really be my life. If I take care of this. If I trust this.

“Hey, Penelope?”

“Hmmm?”

“Will you teach me how to deepthroat a cock?”

The tree decorations rattle as Fletch sits up fast. “Holy shit. Yeah. Teach him how you do that.”

“It’s not like I could take it that far at first, you know,” she says as we crawl out from under the tree. “But I think it’s a nice change of pace that you’re asking me for sex advice.”

“I’ve had the pleasure of your throat a time or two, you’ve got skills, girlfriend.” I sigh. “It’s still possible I could chicken out,” I add, hedging my bets. “Are we all okay with that?”

“There’s no rush,’ Fletch says. “We have lots of time.”

It’s starting to feel better when he says shit like that. At first, it made me panic. Now, it’s very soothing. Commitment isn’t a scary word anymore.

But am I ready to really commit to the physical, sexual relationship with a dude? My best friend? Even if I can admit I love him, it still feels like a far leap.

I feel the blood rushing to my dick just the same.