‘You mean . . . ?’ Her first reaction was to snort with laughter.

‘The clap – and it’s not funny, that I can tell you. The cure’s not funny, either . . .’

‘Did I say I thought it was funny? You carrying on with someone – some Italian bird with great big—’ Em made a gesture at her breasts.

‘I never said she had . . . !’

‘But I bet she did, dain’t she?’ Em shot out of bed, hurt and furious. ‘There’s me stuck here worrying about you, bringing up your son, when all the time . . . Well, you got what you bloody deserved, didn’t you?’

‘Oh, Em, don’t – look, I told you, it wasn’t like that . . . It was all stupid, a mistake. She was just a tart on the make, and I fell for it . . .’

But she was out of the bedroom door, running downstairs in her nightdress, full to the brim with fury. The bastard! The filthy, unfaithful, cheating . . .

She paced up and down the back room, arms crossed over her chest, shaking with hurt and anger. She kept thinking about that woman’s big breasts, which he hadn’t told her about. After a few moments she burst into tears. She’d never even thought of being unfaithful to Norm, and yet look what he’d done – and so easily! And all the time here she’d been, waiting, worrying. She sank down on a chair, feeling very sorry for herself.

After a time she was cold. She wiped her face and tried to think. What was she going to do? Hold this against him and leave him? Move back in with Mom and Dad and have to explain to everyone? Her heart sank at the thought. She couldn’t exactly go anywhere at this moment, because she had nothing on but her nightie. There was nothing for it: she was going to have to forgive him – but not too soon! A moment later she started to see the funny side of it. It was so like Norm to get in a scrape like that.

Soon she heard movements upstairs. Her in-laws would be down any moment and she didn’t want to see them. She crept back upstairs and went into the bedroom, trying to keep a straight face, but her lips were twitching. Norm was still in bed, but he eyed her warily. He looked rotten.

‘Look, I’m sorry, love,’ he said wretchedly. ‘I know it was wrong and stupid. It’s not as if I felt anything for her. I don’t even know what her name was, to tell you the truth. It’s just – you know what us blokes get like. And she was on at me, morning, noon and night . . .’

‘Were you very poorly?’ Em asked, sitting on the edge of the bed, keeping her face straight.

Norm winced. ‘Ooh – yes.’

‘I’m surprised you didn’t break your flaming neck getting out of the window in the first place!’ The laughter erupted out of her then, at the thought of Norm shinning out of the window with a plaster cast on and trying to creep quietly across some courtyard. In a moment more tears, of mirth this time, were running down her face. ‘Oh my God, you really are the end!’