‘Abbott, are you in any fit state to talk?’ he asked and was surprised when that drunken sloppy look on Abbott’s face fell away to be replaced by something that might almost have been called alert.

‘Come on,’ Abbott slid off the stool, ‘let’s go outside. Nige, is it all right if we go outside, mate?’

The landlord, throwing Cuckoo a sympathetic glance, waved them away, like mi casa, su casa. Outside, Abbott went to give Cuckoo a hug, but Cuckoo pulled away, holding his hands up. ‘Look, Abbott, I don’t want to give offence, but you’ve smelled better, you know? I thought you were laying off?’

‘I was. I mean, I am.’

‘Just that Greg died?’

‘That’s right. Greg died. I mean, great. If you can’t get drunk then, I mean, that’s . . . when can you?’

‘What was his surname?’

Abbott blinked. His eyebrows bunched together. ‘I don’t know,’ he said.

‘You don’t know but it’s still a brilliant excuse to get pissed? And tomorrow there’ll be another excuse and then another one the day after that. At least now I know why you haven’t been answering your phone.’

‘I have been answering my phone.’

‘I’ve been trying you for about three days.’

‘Have you?’ Abbott looked panic-stricken. ‘God, what if she’s been trying to get hold of me?’

‘She meaning Tess?’

‘No. Britney Spears. Who do you think I mean? We left it that she was going to . . . She was going to contact me so I could go over there one night, for a bite to eat.’ Abbott winked sloppily at Cuckoo.

‘I thought there was nothing romantic between you?’

‘We’ll see.’

‘This is the woman you said lied to you.’

‘She lied to me for my own good. That’s why I love her.’

‘Oh, you love her now?’

‘Mate, I have fucking loved her since the very first moment I clapped eyes on her as a kid. I haven’t stopped loving her. I never will.’ Abbott caught Cuckoo looking hard at him. ‘Yes,’ he said, defensively, ‘even when I was with Fiona.’

‘Yeah, well, I won’t tell her if you won’t. Look, how about we get a coffee inside you, eh?’

As they moved off, Abbott fished around in the pockets of his jeans. Triumphantly he pulled the handset from them. He held up the phone. ‘See? No battery. How did you find me, by the way?’

‘Because you were in here the last time that I spoke to you.’

‘We spoke? When? When did we speak?’

‘A few days ago. Before you went dark. Come on. Coffee. Now.’