The woman and child were cold. I saw her remove her fur-lined jerkin and wrap it about his shoulders. I had a warm woollen muffler. I unwound it from my neck and held it out to her. ‘For him,’ I gestured wordlessly. She looked at me, uncertainly, almost unbelievingly, took it, gave me a tentative smile. Why had I done this? I was thinking of my malli, my youngest brother, I suppose …. It wasn’t gratitude I wanted, or even friendship. Just a little human feeling. We weren’t divided in this country according to our racial or ethnic groups. We hadn’t brought our weapons, our arms to this country. We didn’t bear labels here—terrorists, militants, subversives, misguided youths …. Those identities had been left behind. We had a different mission here. The journey. The pilgrimage. We weren’t a warring people here.

The others talk to each other. In whispers. But in very few words, and in their own language. I wish I could join in. I feel lonely sometimes but most of the time I am not. I think of the next stage of the journey. I’ve reached so far, but then, what happens next? I count the dollars in my wallet, open my travelling bag, touch my warm clothes. I have my passport with me and a photograph or two of my family. No letters; I have no address as yet. It is best this way. I don’t want to reveal my whereabouts to anyone. We travel incognito. No longer in touch with the outer world.

I wonder what’s happening at home. When I was there I sometimes felt I would like to join the Security Forces. Ideas of courage, of patriotism spurred me on but I had seen too many young friends missing in action, or blinded or crippled for life … when they had hardly begun their journey. Landmines. Ambushes. Dying in action. Dying for the Motherland. Too few people caring anyway. Each in his own way dividing the country further. And would any of us want to return? But this is no place to talk politics. Though why should I, who has not suffered in any way through displacement, loss, bereavement want to leave my comfortable home? Why should I be with this group that I would have had nothing to do with in my own country, with whom I have nothing in common, neither language nor culture nor tradition?