Her lips slowly stretch and out comes that massive laughter. It is the only part of her that has not been diminished. I know she will be gone soon, taking her magnificent laughter with her. I don’t know when and how I will see Bilal, though I know we can’t ever be together openly. I may never find a place in this world, but for now, in this moment, I feel the purest, most perfect joy.

Acknowledgments

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

I’VE BEEN WRITING this story in my mind for over twenty years. Like my other novels, some of it came from direct personal experience. Some of it from research. Some, imagined. In my research, I interviewed several individuals I am not at liberty to acknowledge by name. But I wish to make a space of gratitude for them here, something tender for all girls (and boys) and women everywhere who’ve had to sell their bodies to survive, or to escape or perpetuate demons that cannot be dislodged.

I want to thank political prisoners whose extraordinary lives and writings helped me understand (though I know I cannot fully understand) what it means to be a political prisoner: Khalida Jarrar, Ahmad Sa’adat, Mumia Abu-Jamal, Albert Woodfox, and members of the MOVE family. In particular, I wish to thank Janet Holloway Africa, Janine Phillips Africa, and Ria Africa, who were recently released after being imprisoned for more than forty years, and who graciously spoke to me about their lives in prison. I am in awe of their fortitude, generosity, and commitment to the world and to each other, and of the love they give despite enduring sustained indignities most of us cannot imagine.

Not long after I finished a readable draft of this novel, I found Anjali Singh, a brilliant agent at Ayesha Pande Literary Agency. I’m grateful for the ways she helped improve the manuscript, and I’m excited to begin a new journey in my literary career with her by my side. Because of the shuffle between agencies, it ended up that the German and Swedish translations were published ahead of the English, which meant that my editors at Diana Verlag Random House and Norstedts had to work extra hard to edit the translations. So, thank you, Britta Hansen and Gunilla Sondell.

Of course, thank you to Martha Hughes, my trusted editor who sees my work from stream-of-consciousness writing until it’s recognizable as a story. Other than my dear friend Mame, Martha is the only person I’ve trusted to read the early drafts of my books, and I’m grateful for her encouragement and keen editorial eye.

To my editors at Simon & Schuster and Bloomsbury, Michelle Herrera Mulligan, Alexandra Pringle, and Allegra Le Fanu: thank you for believing in me and in Nahr. I am fortunate to launch this book with such powerful women.