We walked through the dim corridor toward the light of battery torches. The shadows of the men on the dirt walls came into view before they did. We whispered greetings and sat on the blanket spread on the ground. The earth was cold beneath my ass.

“Good idea,” Samer said and sat on his hands when he saw me do it. He was chewing gum vigorously.

“Ghassan and I think we have come up with a plan. We want to ensure we’re all in agreement …” Bilal began.

“We can’t tell you the plan, but we need to go over what to say if we’re caught.” Ghassan paused to let his words sink in.

“If anyone is captured, you must claim innocence and point the finger at me,” Bilal said.

“And me,” Ghassan added.

“But under no circumstances, no matter what, can any of us divulge this space,” Bilal said. Only half of his face was illuminated in the shadowy light. I kept trying to glimpse the other half as his head moved and caught the light intermittently. “If they ever find out, this entire neighborhood and everyone in it will be destroyed. Do you understand?”

Samer began rocking on his hands. “But what are we doing?”

“For now, you’re to just go about your normal routines,” Ghassan said.

“We can’t tell you when or where, but we’re going to execute simultaneous operations,” Bilal said. The light moved on his face as he leaned forward, bringing all but one eye into view, as if he wore an eye patch.

Bilal explained that a small band of trusted comrades from their days in prison also had limited and isolated roles, but the less we knew, the better.

They had devised a plan to take out Israeli soldiers. “Then what?” I asked. It was a sincere question, but Bilal heard it as something else.

“We have no then what here.” Bilal the Coldhearted Commander stared me down with a kind of impatience that stung me. “We do what we can to fight them, and endure the consequences, whatever and however heavy they may be.” He leaned forward. The fullness of his face was visible now. He didn’t blink. “That’s it. That’s what we can do.”

I stared back at him, angry and betrayed. How could he speak to me like that in front of others, especially Ghassan?

Samer pulled his hands out from under him. “The problem is that it’s so difficult to organize anything bigger when there are traitors running around.”

“You’re right,” Wadee and Faisal said in unison. Jumana jumped in to say how hard it was to have an organized resistance under the intense surveillance and rampant corruption of the Palestinian Authority.

I was still stewing over Bilal’s words, struggling not to be defensive. So I laughed.