‘Well, if you hadn’t got “inna here” in the first place, it wouldn’t be a problem, would it?’

‘I told you – I thought I was following yous! One minute I’m begging Persephone not to go for the big note in I Will Always Love You, the next thing I know, you fly into the casino saying you’ve found the little guy in the Cave of Sleep and Death and you need me to come help you. And then I’m locked in here. Geez, that dame . . .’

‘Yeah, Nyx is a massive anti-babe all right,’ Hermes agreed.

‘I meant my Persephone,’ Hades said. ‘If someone had offered me root canal, I would have taken it to get outta there. Hey – wait a minute – how do I know you’re really you?’

‘Good point,’ said Hermes. ‘How do I know you’re really you?’

The two Gods shuffled away from one another.

‘If you’re really Hoimes,’ said Hades, ‘what do I keep inside my copy of Dracula?’

‘Easy. Pair of earplugs,’ Hermes replied. ‘You wear them when Aunty P is rehearsing. And if you’re really me Uncle – what colour are my pyjamas?’

‘Trick question,’ said Hades. ‘You don’t wear none. Which, let me tell yous, is a seriously bad idea, given that you also sleep-fly . . .’

They nodded at one another. They were the real deal.

‘This is, like, an epic mis-bosh, Uncle H,’ said Hermes, rising to his feet. ‘I gotta get to E before he does something totes stupid.’

‘Poor kid,’ Hades sighed. ‘Tawk about having the weight of the world on your shoulders.’

‘Mate – we’ve got to get out of here,’ said Hermes, storming towards the door. I have to—’

‘STOP!’ Hades suddenly yelled. ‘Don’t move a muscle!’

‘Easier said than done, Uncle H,’ Hermes replied out of the corner of his mouth. ‘I’ve gotta lot of muscle. Mate – I’m ripped like a bounced cheque.’

‘Just . . . stay still,’ said Hades, creeping over and gingerly picking up something by Hermes’s left foot. ‘There – I’m guessing you don’t need another run-in with one-a these.’

He held up the poisoned Hydra arrow.

‘Whoa,’ whispered Hermes.

‘And here’s the bow,’ said Hades, picking it up off the floor with his other hand. ‘Old feather-features must have drawped it.’

‘Blimey,’ said Hermes, taking the weapon and placing it carefully in his own bottomless bag. ‘Thanks, Uncle Hades.’

‘Anytime, kiddo,’ said the God of the Underworld, giving his nephew a friendly punch that nearly knocked him flying. ‘Now, what we gonna do here?’

‘So, I reckon if I run at that door like I’ve put on three pounds and I’ve got a photo shoot the next day, I can blast straight through it. Whaddya reckon?’

‘I reckon it’s the best plan we got,’ Hades sighed. ‘Let’s do it.’