My hand grasped at my chest and found my necklace. The tiny chain and charm brought me some comfort as I felt my heart pounding. I hadn’t worn it in three years. It sat in my jewelry box, usually untouched, the memory too painful to tote around. But tonight had been different; I’d reached for it without hesitation.

My gut had known all along. 

It shouldn’t have been like this.

Three years. I should be over it.

“Lenny,” Stone said, pulling me from my spiral in one jarring sweep.

The name stung my heart. I could hear the sincerity in his voice.

His steps closed in behind me, and I swallowed hard. My hand was still clenched around the charm of the necklace, my knees shaking, ready to buckle.

Stone caught me before they did. His arms wrapping tightly around me, and I was tempted to just sink into them. I kept my focus on the tattoos wrapping up one, trying to disappear from the world, and let every bit of darkness consume me once and for all. It’d all been shoved down deep inside, somewhere I never thought I’d have to face it.

Complete denial.

“What’s wrong?” Stone asked, and I could hear the way not knowing drove him mad.

He always had it figured out. The two weeks I’d known him, I’d never once seen him rattled in the face of any problem.

“It’s nothing,” I managed.

My voice was hoarse and my throat stung, forcing the words out.

Stone spun me to face him, to get a look at my face and read over my expressions. There was no use in hiding. They were written all over my face, and there was nothing I could do about it.

“You’re upset,” he observed matter of fact.

Hearing it out loud hurt even more. What was wrong with me?

My brother was having a baby. I should be overjoyed. Every part of me wanted to be back inside, celebrating with them, making a toast to Eloise and obsessing over all the little details. But instead, I was outside, barely able to stand and feeling like my dinner might come right back up.

What the fuck was wrong with me?

My body was shaking, and I tried to cling tighter to the necklace as a source of stability.

Stone’s hand cupped my cheek, still reading my every move and expression. I flinched at his touch, and he pulled away quickly.

Shit.

I had to push him away too. It was the easiest thing. Anytime someone got too close, I pushed them right back out. I couldn’t have anyone knowing the full truth. They’d hate me.

Tears welled in my eyes, and I had to hold them back.

“Len,” Stone said gently.