“This is not the same,” Grey said. “You made a decision based on a profile, a good one. You saved her life. This is not the same as last time.” Grey placed a hand on my shoulder before he handed my badge back. “Once you complete your psych evaluation, you’ll be cleared for the field. I’ve already submitted the recommendation.”

“You can’t be serious?” I asked.

“As long as you follow orders next time, you’re still welcome on my team. Besides, where else will I find a brain like yours?” He chuckled.

“I’d be honored to come back,” I admitted.

30. Lenny

30

LENNY

My wrists ached as I rubbed at them, the blanket still wrapped around my shoulders. It was hard not to dissociate, not when every piece of me wanted to give in to the shock, to let myself slowly slip away into oblivion.

But that wasn’t an option.

Pick yourself back up. 

I kept repeating it, over and over. That was exactly what I planned to do: pick myself back up from the low I found myself in and push on, a newly forged person. This summer taught me one thing: I was stronger than I ever imagined.

I watched from the back of the ambulance as Stone talked to his supervisory agent at the other one. Everything felt numb. I’d watched my best friend die in front of me. The man I was beginning to love saved me. I knew she deserved it, but it still hurt.

“Your blood pressure is slightly high, but I think it’s the adrenaline rush,” the woman checking me over said. “You’ll have to take care of those marks on your wrists from the restraints. Keep them clean and bandaged to stave off infection. If anything starts to hurt more or look worse, go to the hospital.”

“Thanks,” I murmured.

It was the first thing I could bring myself to really say.

Everything inside ached for Stone to come back. It was like piece of me was missing. My body felt on edge, and I tried to catch his eye.

After a few minutes of him speaking to the other agents, he turned and met my gaze.

His face softened, and he limped toward me.

I knew everything he’d done was to protect me, and I was forever grateful for that. There was nothing I could do or say to repay him for saving my life.

“Are you hurt at all?”

I noticed the way he didn’t ask if I was alright. He knew the answer—I wasn’t.

“No,” I said. “Just elevated blood pressure.”

“Just make sure to take it easy for a while,” he said, looking like he didn’t believe me.

I didn’t know what he thought he would find. Was he expecting to see some wound everyone had missed?

“I promise, I’m not hurt,” I assured him.