It was always something similar. She meant well, but I couldn’t help but feel this was it for me. I ruined my one chance in the field, and now all I was left with was my knowledge. It was the sentence I deserved. I could never escape the burdening awareness of the mistake I made. All I could do was make sure no one else made the same ones. It was why I was so hard on the trainees I took on.

“I love you, Mom,” I said, avoiding her plea.

“I love you too,” she said before hanging up.

I checked the clock and realized I had only two hours to make it to the airport before boarding. Sleep would have to wait.

* * *

I pushed back my sleeves as my plane descended into Portland.

“Does that mean something?” the curious woman beside me asked.

I’d managed to avoid her prying questions most of the flight, finally getting in a nap, but at boarding and now descending, I wasn’t as lucky.

She was staring straight at the sage worked into my sleeve of tattoos wrapping up my right arm.

“Wisdom,” I answered.

I’d carefully selected every single detail of the tattoos.

She tilted her head, studying the rest, and I pushed down my sleeves, growing self-conscious. There were some I preferred she didn’t ask about.

“It’s kind of feminine, isn’t it?” she prodded.

The woman didn’t know when enough was enough. My distant gaze out the window wasn’t enough to stop her intrusive comments.

“I don’t think so at all,” I commented. “In fact, multiple cultures considered sage to be a symbol of wisdom and wellness. The ancient Greeks referred to their philosophers as sages. In Medieval European cultures, sage was linked to longevity and wisdom-”

The woman pulled out earbuds and stuck them in her ears, cutting me off. I sighed. At least I’d earned my peace back.

The flight attendant made her final round, collecting trash, and I passed across an empty plastic cup I’d acquired early in the flight. The woman beside me ignored the voice that came over the speaker asking everyone to put their trays and seats up. I tried tapping her shoulder, and she rolled her eyes before turning to me.

Oh, now I’m the nuisance. 

“That needs to go up,” I tried to say politely.

“Why?” she scoffed.

“Because they just made the announcement,” I answered.

I already knew where things were heading. It was a matter of if it was worth my time to pursue the argument. I sighed and gave in.

“I don’t see the point,” she went on. “I’m still using it. Where am I going to put all of this?”