It was just the nightmares. This was to help them, a purely selfish reason. Nothing beyond that. I couldn’t let myself feel more than that, could I? How could I keep Len safe if I let myself feel too much?

I walked up the stairs behind her, my head racing. No matter how much I wanted to run back down them, I couldn’t my mind needed this.

I needed this.

I needed just one night of sound sleep, no nightmares plaguing me. That was all.

I found myself back in the room I had given up earlier for Len. Her stuff was sprawled in the corner, but otherwise, it remained as I left it.

She climbed back under the covers and left enough room for me to join. Slowly, I followed behind her, hesitant to cross any boundaries.

You’re already well past boundaries. 

Grey would not see this as acceptable if he found out.

Merely inches from each other, I could feel the warmth of her body. I held my breath, afraid to even move. Already, I could feel the tension leaving me, forgetting about the nightmares that consumed me. Len’s presence was comforting, and somehow, I felt safer around her.

You still barely know her. 

Yet, it felt like I’d known her a lifetime.

Enough to make me question everything enough to drive any man to insanity. Maybe that was what this was: my mind finally turning on me, driving me slowly to madness. I knew everything about this was wrong, to be involved with someone so wrapped up in the case. It broke just about every rule, but I couldn’t help it.

“Hold me,” she said so softly, I thought I misheard.

“What?”

“Can you hold me? It helps knowing you’re there.”

I knew what she meant, just like my body craved her and knew it needed her to feel safe.

I moved closer, my arms wrapping around her, pulling her against my body. Everything in me should hate this, should know that this was wrong; instead, I felt peace from the nightmares. She relaxed in my arms, and her breathing became heavier. With each deep breath I took, I found myself inhaling the scent of sea salt and sage.

Not once did the nightmares come back for me.

* * *

My phone buzzed the next morning, Mags’ name flashing on the screen

“Hello?” I sleepily answered, crawling out of the bed before Len could wake.

“Stone?” she answered.

“What’s wrong, Mags?” I asked, getting worried. I hurried into the hall, away from Len.

“They’re on their way,” she warned.

“What? Who?” I asked.

“Agent Grey and the rest of the team. They got the call about the latest Coastal Killer victim and are heading there today,” Mags said, her voice steady. “Grey wanted me to call you.”

“Does he know I’m here?” I asked quickly, my heart dropping.