“Are you alright?” he asked as I nodded. “Are you laughing?” He tilted his head to read my face, but the rag kept it mostly covered.

“It’s just so absurd,” I laughed. “My whole life has been falling apart for years. I can barely remember when anything was simple enough that my worries were small, like nose bleeds or which book to read next.” My words came out nasally, my nose blocked by the rag.

Stone chuckled. “I know what you mean,” he said, sitting back down.

I noticed the way he nervously clasped his hands together, his arms tensing and the vines that wrapped up one arm more noticeable than ever.

“I don’t remember the last time I could just go to the bar and have a drink with colleagues. I don’t remember the days when I used to call my mom and sister to make sure they were doing okay without worrying they would know I’m not. And red—I can’t remember the last time I could see red and not be reminded of the death I caused.”

Death he caused…

That had to be a mistake. He was an agent, responsible for protecting people, myself included. There was no possible way…

“I don’t deserve that kindness,” he said at my confused look. “My partner is dead because of me.”

A pit formed in my stomach. He’d rarely mentioned his partner. I knew she died, but he never said more than that. The look of pain on his face was enough to make a wave of nausea wash over me, the blood still pouring from my nose not helping.

“Stone…” I tried.

“You asked why no one was looking for me,” Stone said, the pain in his eyes making my heart split in two. “A little under a year ago, my partner died in the field. We were supposed to be waiting for back up, but the unsub had taken a young girl hostage. Blythe wanted to go in. I knew the protocol, I knew our orders, but still, I considered it.” His face fell.

“Stone, you can’t blame yourself if you followed orders and didn’t follow her,” I said.

“I didn’t. I knew what the risk was, calculated everything that could go wrong, and I still followed her into that building,” he answered.

I reached for his hand.

You’re comforting him. He would do the same for you. 

“You tried to protect her,” I said slowly.

He shook his head. “Tried and failed. We got inside, and the place was a maze. We were running out of time; the little girl had no time left. We had to find her. So, I made a choice, one I will live with for the rest of my life. I suggested we split up. It was a calculated risk. The probability of us finding her alive increased, we both had our guns, and were both trained agents.”