13

After Paris

Nina

Nina sat in her loft apartment, the steeples and rooftops of Spitalfields peeking over the window frame, and beyond that the City. She felt regal, her feet propped up on a silk cushion, a soft, thick fleece throw over her legs. Luca had set up the projector screen and together they were rewatching Schitt’s Creek, with popcorn and hot chocolate, thick, like he had it at home in Milan. After much protesting, she had submitted to being looked after.

‘I’m ordering you some vitamins,’ Flynn called from the kitchen where he was making dinner, a chicken stew he used to eat with his family on Sundays in Colombia. Sancocho.

When Nina had stepped off the train in London, Flynn had been waiting for her just beyond the ticket barriers. He’d taken her straight to a private clinic in the City, where he’d paid for a scan. Afterwards, they’d walked back to the flat, him pulling her small case, their chatter fuelled with adrenaline: Nina was still pregnant. The sonographer had confirmed she had experienced early bleeding, but all was fine. They’d even heard a very tiny heartbeat from the sonographer’s wand, like a rhythmic, frantic flapping of wings, transcending their hopes. They didn’t know what the future would hold: they weren’t even dating, they were friendly co-workers who occasionally slept together, but it felt exciting. It felt good.

Back at the warehouse they’d told Luca and Kai, their smiles indicating something was up the moment they walked through the door.

‘How was your weekend with the girls?’ asked Luca now, throwing popcorn aloft and catching it in his mouth.

‘You could choke doing that,’ tutted Kai from the kitchen, where he was removing packs of berries from a jute bag and stacking them on the concrete island. Kai was German, with close-cropped dark hair and sharp cheekbones.

‘Fun,’ Nina said, smiling at Luca, who was pulling an I’ve been told off face. ‘But difficult, you know, too… I couldn’t tell them…’ She waved in the direction of her abdomen.

‘You hadn’t even told me!’ Luca said.

‘I only found out Thursday night and I couldn’t tell you at the patisserie on Friday morning…’ How was that only a few days ago? The Nina leaving the building that morning clutching her passport seemed like a different person altogether. ‘And you’re not trying to have a baby,’ she said, nudging him.

A look passed over Luca’s face and she noticed Kai, who was assembling an elaborate pudding, glance over in his direction too.

‘Are you?’ she asked, her head moving between the two of them.

‘Hey,’ Flynn said softly. He wiped his hands on a tea towel and came over, sitting across from Luca, a hand on his shoulder. ‘You okay, man? You never said.’

Flynn had known Luca as long as he’d known Nina and worked with him in the evenings sometimes. Nina felt so lucky to have these men by her side, but she ached as she thought of her girlfriends.