She had assumed if they got into the finals, they’d have to forfeit. And she was okay with that. After all, if they won, then what? They weren’t engaged. There’d be no marriage. The winners got a TV special. She didn’t want to lie again, and definitely not on national TV.

“I’m okay. I … I don’t really need it anymore.” She took a deep breath. “I was so unsatisfied with my life, and it may sound weird, but I thought winning this would save me. But … maybe I don’t need saving. Or maybe I can save myself. I don’t want to lie anymore.”

It stung to lose the opportunity for the Asler Institute scholarship. It was another loss to add to the pile. Like her career. And finding this amazing connection with someone, then watching it walk away. But even with all that loss, she still felt confident she would be okay.

She looked at Nadim. She’d been convinced that he was the only reason she was coping with unemployment this time. But maybe that wasn’t true. Yes, Nadim had been there—but that’s because she’d let him in. She’d trusted a man she didn’t know, one her parents had set her up with no less, to support her when she knew she needed it. And when Nadim wasn’t in her life anymore, she’d relied on other support. Her friends, and (shudder) even her family. She was no longer paralyzed with anxiety about her inability to cope with life. She could cope. She did. She didn’t actually need him.

She did still want him, though.

Just minutes ago, they agreed on honesty. She knew his past now, the very things he hadn’t wanted her to know. She could no longer keep the truths she’d hidden from him.

As they moved to the table with their sandwiches and sat side-by-side, Reena took a deep breath. Now was as good a time as ever.

“It’s true, what I said.”

“Hm?”

“That I’m okay, I meant it. And that’s actually a bit of a surprise.” She tried to smile. “This last week, since Sunday, it’s been hard on me. But … I was strong. I was okay.”

He smiled with such fondness that she thought she might let out a tear or two. Or twenty. She was so sad he was leaving. But she was okay.

He touched her cheek. “I don’t know if I should be upset that you were okay about it all, because I was miserable, but Reena, you are strong,” he said.

“That’s just it. I was hiding this from you, but I’m not strong. I’m kind of a wreck.” She paused. “I’ve been in really dark places before. Several times. The last time was when I lost my job a couple of years ago, I stopped doing … anything. I barely left the house for weeks. I drank a lot. Other times before that I didn’t drink so much, but I just felt … dead inside. Like I didn’t know how to feel anything anymore. They’re depressive episodes. I’ve been on meds before, but haven’t been on them for a while.”