The doctor flinched and deep sadness filled her eyes. “I noticed the last name and wondered if there was a connection there. I’m so sorry.”

“I know he talked to you. He said you helped him.”

“Not enough apparently.” Dr. McCandless rose and rubbed her palms down her black slacks. “I was absolutely stunned to hear of his death.”

“Yeah, that makes two of us.” She paused. “Was he like this? Did he have nightmares and feel helpless to do anything about them?”

“Sarah, I can’t—”

“Please. I’m on his HIPAA paperwork. You can tell me about him. I think it would really help settle some things in my mind if I could just understand what he was thinking, feeling . . . please.”

The doctor took a deep breath and clasped her hands. “Dustin had a good many problems, as you know, but honestly, I thought he was doing better. That we were making some breakthroughs. That’s why his suicide floored me.”

Exactly what Caden had seen. “Dr. McCandless?”

“Please, call me Mel.”

“All right, Mel, I’m not suicidal, I promise. I admit, I probably have some . . . um . . . PTSD issues”—man, that was hard to say—“but I’ve no desire to die.”

“I’m starting to believe you.”

Heat swept into Sarah’s cheeks and she looked away. “I’ve had some pretty down moments over the last few weeks, I’ll admit that as well.” Her father’s betrayal came to mind, and she curled her fingers into tight fists. “And when I tried to get in just to talk to you—to ask you about Dustin—I was shut down faster than I could blink. But, yes, I wanted to ask about Dustin as well.”

“As well?”

Shame burned a path up Sarah’s neck and into her cheeks. She cleared her throat. Tears gathered and she sniffed. “The nightmares are real,” she whispered. “I only fall asleep when I can’t stay awake any longer or I’m drugged up.” She held up a hand. “Prescription drugs that I haven’t taken in a couple of days. The last thing I need is an addiction.”

The doctor’s hand covered hers. “I’ll work you in if you want to be a patient. For real.”

Sarah gave a slow nod, then shook her head. “I don’t know. I want the nightmares to stop, but I won’t take medicine, and I know that’s the route you’ll probably want to go.”

“Meds can be a last resort. Sometimes just talking and me offering some coping skills, strategies for handling the nightmares, can do a lot.”

“You can do that?”

“Of course.”

Sarah nodded again. “I’ll think about it.” She paused. “What did Dustin do? Did he choose to take meds or go the other route?”

The doctor hesitated. “Why?”

“I don’t know. I guess I just need to know.”

“Everyone is different. Dustin’s choices shouldn’t reflect yours.”