“It’s happening.” There was no joy at Gavin’s proclamation of love. Only anguish filled her. Scenes blipped through her mind. Dustin’s loss, her past, the kidnapping, her father’s betrayal. She tried to shove it away, but it pressed in on her. Suffocating her. The pain of it all wanted to cripple her. She pressed her hands against her head. Then her chest. How could this be? Everything she’d ever done wrong was played out on a 3-D screen in her head. The anger at her mother for not telling her about her illness, followed by the hate of her father for his role in it and simply never being the father she longed for. The rebellion that led to the guys in high school. The shame of it all. The shame! She didn’t deserve love. Gavin’s or God’s. She wept and bolted from the ambulance.

“Sarah!”

She ran toward the traffic. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. End it. The shame and the pain had to end.

Hard hands caught her. Held her so she couldn’t escape. “Oh, Sarah.” The anguish in those two words reached her. “Fight it,” he whispered.

Gavin.

He’d never want to be with someone like her. Never. She was too messed up. Worthless. She shook her head. “No. No, I’m not. I’m not worthless.” A sob ripped from her. “Gavin? Why do I feel so worthless? I . . . I can’t do this . . . It has to stop. It all needs . . . to stop.” She jerked against his hold.

He turned and grabbed the paramedic’s attention. “We need to get to the hospital now.”

CHAPTER
TWENTY-SEVEN

Gavin paced outside Sarah’s hospital room, phone pressed to his ear. “She can’t talk right now, I’m sorry.”

“She gave me her number, you know. I have her permission to call her.”

“Kaylynn, I’m not keeping you from talking to her out of any kind of spite. The truth is, she had an accident and is in the hospital. I promise as soon as she wakes up and feels like talking, I’ll have her call you.”

A pause. “An accident? Really? Is she going to be okay?”

“Yes. Yes, she is.”

“You sound like you’re trying to convince yourself.”

He sighed. “I just have to pray she will be okay.”

“Then I will too.”

“Thank you.” He was still reeling that Kaylynn had reached out to him. She must really want to talk to Sarah.

“Okay, then I guess I’ll go,” she said.

But she didn’t sound like she wanted to hang up. “Kaylynn, I’ll help you if you need help.”

For a moment, silence. “Thanks, Gavin. I’m not sure that I need help exactly. But maybe some advice. From Sarah.”

“Got it.” Must be some kind of girl thing.

“I called for one other reason.”

“What’s that?”

“I kind of owe you an apology.”