That evening, when I let myself into our open-plan flat, Paula’s words came back to me: ‘You’ve made me realize that in certain instances, a kind word to a grieving mother or a consoling pat on the arm to a widower is valued far more than our usual policy of discretion and invisibility. Please give serious consideration to this promotion. I’d really like to have you on board permanently.’

Permanently.

I wandered across to the kitchen area, remembering the panicky feeling that Paula’s job offer had given me. Her eyes had been twinkling with confidence after she’d imparted her news; so sure was she that I’d snap her hand off. I felt terrible watching her smile slip when I told her I’d think about it.

I wasn’t even one hundred per cent sure that I’d thanked her. I must have; I’d have done it on autopilot before standing up, shaking her hand and fleeing her office.

Until Paula uttered the ‘permanent’ word, I hadn’t realized how much I cherished the freedom that my temporary job afforded me.

Did I really want to commit to the crematorium, or even to London, I thought as I washed up the dirty crockery Harvey had left on the kitchen breakfast bar. I poured hot water and washing-up liquid into the pan he’d used to make his mountain of scrambled eggs to let it soak for a few minutes while I made myself a cup of tea. He was on a high-protein, low-fat diet these days, which might be having an incredible impact on his body shape, but not using butter made a right mess of the pan.

The even bigger question was, I admitted to myself: did I really want to commit to Harvey?

A quiver of lust darted through me at the thought of his toned abs. He’d had a lovely body when I met him: slim and athletic. His last job before taking his personal training qualification was selling private medical insurance but he’d felt trapped and lethargic working in an office. Now he was well and truly ‘ripped’. Since he’d been working at Muscle Works gym in Tottenham he had virtually doubled in size: his biceps were like boulders and his thighs were rock solid. Even his neck seemed to have grown. I was a bit leaner too. Partly because of my long hours at the crematorium, but mostly because of the healthy diet Harvey insisted was as good for me as it was for him.