And were they even listening to her? She didn’t know; she didn’t care. “I love her. She’s done so much for me, but part of me sort of wants to be her, too, you know what I mean? That ferocity. I want that. I’m jealous of her but I shouldn’t be because she has only been kind to me, but at the same time where the fuck is she? I haven’t seen her yet and she knows I hardly know anyone here. Can you help me find her? Have you seen her? God, it’s so like her to leave me stranded like this. But maybe it’s good for me. Do you think it’s good for me? I should go try to find her.”

But she couldn’t get up. She was twitching in her seat, like her thumping heart would burst out of her chest if she made any sudden movement. And they were laughing at her now, exchanging glances like she was some kind of show, only invited for their own amusement. And in a sudden burst of distress she worried that she was; that the only reason Peri had wanted to spend time with her, to befriend her, was to laugh at her and her middle-class amicability, her doglike loyalty and infatuation. How could she be so stupid?

And then a hand on her back, warm and enticing. A voice in her ear, “Let’s get you away from these clowns.” And one of them, the one who wasn’t Jackson called to be careful, and she wasn’t sure who the missive was for. But she was with Him now. She was with him and he was touching her and all would be okay.

He brought her out to the beach, steadying her as they walked down the narrow pathway through the private entrance. Out here, with the cool breeze, she felt better, saner. She cocked her head at him. “You’re leaving your own party again.”

He smiled at her. She could see the curve of his lips from the light of the house. There was no moon this time. “It was getting stuffy in there. I like the ocean at night.” Odilie took off her heels, felt the sand between her toes.

“Like Peri. She loves the beach at night.” It came out more bitterly than she meant it to, and she covered her mouth like she had said something obscene.

“Yeah. Like Peri. Only Peri got that from me. Even though she grew up around the beach, I was the only who would take her out past sunset. It wasn’t in her nature otherwise.” That was a weird way of putting it, Odilie thought, like Peri was an animal, commanded by certain seasons and times.

“Where is she? I haven’t seen her yet.”