“These women, you said they’re a mixed age group?” Page nods docilely. “Well, if it’s a Brooklyn-based book club, they may have actually read the book. But they’ll also be talking about husbands, wives, kids, schools, politics. Politics is a big one.

“Ten years ago? Their eyes would have glazed over if you brought that shit up. Now it’s all about performative activism, no matter if their husbands are literally running a fossil fuel company. They want to seem ‘woke.’ The wealthier they are, the less they’ll show it off. Think of what Mark Zuckerberg and his wife look like when they’re shot by the paps. They’re in sloppy sweats.

“And they all have the same political stance, I assure you—progressives, left on all social issues, with too much cognitive dissonance to recognize how they, and their partners, are contributing to vast income inequality. They will happily criticize Obama but will unabashedly lust after him, if they’re straight. They hate Trump, obviously, but secretly love the tax breaks they got because of him. Do not mention the latter. Most of them will have voted for Warren in the 2020 primaries. They’re very into #girlboss energy, but the more adept ones will know how to critique it. Their kids, if they have them, will probably only eat organic whatever, though one of them will espouse mindful eating without actually practicing it. They love ‘natural’ wine. They love clothing they can brag was locally sourced. They love food they can brag is locally sourced. They love to brag about their Bail Fund donations and the time they almost got arrested at an anti-police protest, while hiring security detail for their more lavish parties and telling you not to take the subway at night to those areas, meaning predominantly Black and Brown neighborhoods. Most of them will be white, but there might be a light-skinned Black woman thrown in the mix, maybe someone of South Asian descent. You cannot, under any circumstances, suggest that they don’t work, even if they literally do not make their own income. Or mention their hired help, except if it’s the nanny and only if she’s ‘part of the family.’ Also, if you try to sound too intelligent, they can sniff you out as a noob and will patronize you. Let the hostess take the lead, too, even if she’s a bore. Compliment her, follow her conversation topics, let her be your guide. I’ve made the mistake of upsetting one too many women in their own home in my day, so don’t make my mistake.” I pause, take a breath. Page is on her phone. When I step closer, I see she’s taking notes and I smile in spite of myself.

“How did you figure all this out?” she asks, her voice earnest. “It’s not like you’re from here.”