“Definitely not fifty,” Anam says. The tension knotting her shoulders seems to release with each successful set. “Let’s not talk about it anymore. How is your film competition going?”

I bite the inside my cheek. “It’s going good,” I say, trying not to think about the impending doom of receiving USC’s decision again. “We’re all meeting up tomorrow to finalize casting decisions.”

Anam nods, glancing up at the sky, holding a hand over her eyes to shield her gaze from the sun. “Is the weather supposed to be sunny again tomorrow?”

“God, I hope so,” I say, immediately pulling out my phone to check. “Yeah, about the same as today. A little warmer, actually.”

“Ooooh,” Anam says, taking out her own phone. “Maybe Nazifa is free. I don’t want to stay home alone with Ma and Baba if you’re going to be out.”

In the last year, Anam has been expressing that sentiment more and more often. A desire to be away from our parents, especially when it’s clear I won’t be at her side.

The protective instincts I hold in regard to my sister are iron hard. I’d do anything for her, and I’ve always suffered the brunt of our parents’ expectations so she wouldn’t have to.

It hasn’t exactly been easy, since Anam’s much more rebellious than I am. Where I choose not to engage and use our parents’ disappointment as fuel to propel me forward, Anam chooses to get angry and throw their disappointment right back at them.

When my parents say “Don’t do this,” I ignore them and do it anyway.

When my parents say “Don’t do this,” Anam says fuck you and does something even worse.

I can’t say I don’t understand. I think if I were a little bolder, I’d be the same way.

But I’m just so tired. I don’t see any point in fighting with them anymore. All I want to do is escape.

“If Nazifa isn’t free, I can try to come back early,” I say, a hesitant offering. I’m not eager to spend more time home than I have to, but if she asks this of me, I will do it.

Anam clicks her tongue, quickly tapping out a message, before her eyes light up. “No need, she’s free. We’ll probably go to the Halal Guys near school. Where are you guys going to be?”

“We’re going to Astoria Park. I should be home around eight, though, if you want to meet on the subway home?”

She looks tempted, but then she shakes her head. “I’ll probably be home later.”

I raise my eyebrows. “Don’t let Nazifa drag you into too much trouble. You know our curfew is earlier than hers, and even if she breaks hers, Mishti Auntie and Farhan Uncle will forgive her. Ma and Baba...well.”