I sigh but head for her room all the same. She’s crouched on the ground, looking for something, but she waves me forward without pause. I step inside, looking around briefly. There are posters of TWICE, Blackpink, and ITZY up on the walls, and dozens of albums lined up on her shelves. Her notes are scattered haphazardly on her desk, and two stray volleyballs roll on her floor.

“There we go,” Anam says, taking out a third volleyball from underneath her bed. Then she shoots me a grin. “Want to throw one around? Might help distract you from your boy troubles.”

I want to say yes, but I can’t find my voice. When I don’t reply immediately, Anam gives me a look of concern. “Are you okay?”

“I got into NYU,” I say, the words choked.

“What? That’s amazing!” Anam says, standing up and moving forward to give me a quick hug. “Congratulations!”

“Yeah,” I say weakly, taking a seat on the edge of her mattress. “Congratulations. Right.”

She raises her brows. “Is...is this a bad thing? Did you want them to reject you? I know it’s not USC, but it’s still good to get an acceptance, right?”

“Yes, it’s...good,” I say, biting the inside my cheek. The sharp tang of blood fills my mouth, which is fitting. “I—I guess I just didn’t think about what would happen if they said yes.”

Anam tosses the ball up in the air, her brows furrowed. “What do you mean?”

I pull my knees up to my chest. “I only let myself think about USC accepting me. I didn’t think about what might happen if UMich or Wesleyan and Emory or—” I take a deep breath. “I just never took it into account that I might have multiple options.”

Anam falters midthrow and the ball falls to the carpeted ground with a light thud. “Does your acceptance to NYU change things?” she asks slowly, coming to stand in front of me.

My teeth press into my lower lip almost painfully. “I don’t know. I think it might.”

A loaded moment of silence follows, but then Anam places her hands on my shoulders, leaning down so she can meet my eyes. “Apu, you should do what’s right for you. And the rest of us will be here to support you, no matter what it is you decide.”

“But what if I don’t know what to choose?” I ask, my voice small. For the first time, I feel like the younger one between us two. “What if I make a mistake?”

“You won’t,” Anam says, squeezing my shoulders. “Do what’s right for your heart.”

Home is where you find love.

I nod, swallowing the blood coating the inside of my mouth. “I’ll try,” I say, shifting forward to give her a hug.