Milly had been encouraging her to make an appointment with the local doctor, but Nicole had been putting it off. She’d told herself that it was still early days, that there would be plenty of time for that when she’d decided what she was going to do next and where she was going to live. The way she felt at the moment, she would happily have stayed here forever and not moved anywhere.

Despite the obvious challenges (almost all of them related to Richard!), Milly’s life seemed idyllic to her. Could she have something similar?

Was that even possible?

She stared across the water, watching as the ducks emerged from the reeds and swam along the edge of the lake, staying close together.

It hadn’t occurred to her at any point that she might one day be thinking of giving up what she’d spent her entire life striving to attain.

But that was what she was thinking now.

She wanted a simple, low-key life where she could enjoy the things other people enjoyed. She imagined bringing the baby over and going for a walk with Milly. Sitting at the kitchen table with Connie and Nanna Peg, talking about sleep patterns and teething and weaning.

She imagined signing the baby up for the local play group and music group and meeting new people. Normal, everyday people who didn’t spend hours in hair and makeup every day before emerging to play a person that wasn’t them.

Was that sort of life even possible for someone like her?

And would she miss her old life?

She definitely wouldn’t miss the movie industry. People only saw the glamour, but there was another side. A darker side. She wouldn’t miss the politics, the pressure, the endless publicity machine, the people who lied and took advantage. People who used her. But the acting? She’d miss that. She still loved acting.

She needed to find a way to indulge her creative self, while avoiding all the ruthless, cutthroat parts of the business. She didn’t need accolades or red carpets. Talking to Zoe had made her wonder if she should teach acting. Get involved with local groups. Children would be more fun than adults. Was that even a possibility?

Maybe, but first she needed to expand the life she was living. Push her boundaries. It wasn’t enough just to run in the early mornings. She needed to get out during the day and start to live life instead of avoiding it. She needed to take baby steps into a new future.

On impulse she reached for her phone and sent a message to Joel.

If you’re free tomorrow, I’m ready to climb into the back of your van.

No. She couldn’t say that. It sounded awful.

She deleted it and started again.

Needed: one getaway driver. Tomorrow?