“That’s only human. God surely invites us to wrestle with Him the same way our forefathers did time after time in the Holy Scriptures.”

Before Joseph could probe further, she confessed a worse sin, one that plagued her every day. “I left my sister Patience behind at the workhouse.”

“From what you’ve told me of her, she wanted you to leave London and have a better life.”

“Aye, she’s always sacrificed for me. And now I need to survive for her so that I can help her start over too.”

“Then you’re hoping she can emigrate one day and join you?”

“I made arrangements for her to sail on the Robert Lowe, the next ship the Columbia Mission Society is sending out. Even so, I can’t keep from doubting myself in leaving her behind and wishing I’d found another way.”

“I’m sure if there had been another way, you would have taken advantage of it.”

The ship pitched again, causing her stomach to plummet with it. For long moments, they couldn’t speak amidst the crashing waves and battering wind that drowned out even the cries and calls of despair that rose from the other passengers.

Joseph’s steady breathing close by helped to calm her nerves once more, so that she allowed herself to breathe freely.

“It has been pointed out to me,” he finally said, “that perhaps I am running from God.”

“Running from God? You who are a kindness and savior to everyone you meet?”

“Well, perhaps I’m like Jonah, running from God and what He is calling me to do with my life.”

Mercy had only a vague recollection of the story of Jonah, the prophet who’d been tossed into the sea and swallowed by a giant fish because he’d refused to go and preach to the heathens.

“Perhaps if you throw me overboard,” he said, “this storm will cease.”

“Stuff and nonsense. I’ll do no such thing.”

Against her head, she could feel his mouth curve up into a smile. He’d been teasing her, and the realization left her breathless. “If not doctoring,” she said hurriedly to cover her strange feelings, “what do you suppose be His calling for your life, sir?”

“The doctoring isn’t in question, just the location of where to do it. Dr. Bates wanted me to stay at the Shoreditch Dispensary and enter into a partnership with him. I turned him down.”

After watching Joseph work so tirelessly to save Clara, she’d sensed a kindness and generosity in him that was much needed in the slums. Dr. Bates had surely sensed it as well. But maybe Joseph didn’t want to make the sacrifices necessary to work at the dispensary. “Does God have only one place for you? Can’t He use you anywhere?”