Back A Private Function
Chapters (21)
  1. Cover
  2. Landing Page
  3. A Private Function
  4. CONTENTS
  5. INTRODUCTION
  6. The Old Crowd
  7. CAST
  8. A Private Function
  9. PREFACE
  10. CAST AND CREDITS
  11. Prick Up Your Ears
  12. PREFACE
  13. CAST AND CREDITS
  14. 102 Boulevard Haussmann
  15. CAST AND CREDITS
  16. The Madness of King George
  17. PREFACE
  18. CAST AND CREDITS
  19. About the Author
  20. Also by the Author
  21. Copyright

FOX   Sir. These are the nation’s representatives. Now, some of them come to Parliament in the hope that they might serve their country, but most of them, being human, are here to fill their pockets. Pitt … and your father … have done them very well – pensions, places, bribes. But once it is plain that Pitt is finished and there is no more swill in the trough, Your Royal Highness will be made Regent. Sir, I must join the line.
Fox rushes over, his name is ticked off and he goes through the Lobby. There is a silence, followed a second later by a great shout. The Prince of Wales and the Duke of York look delighted. The Duke of York shakes the Prince’s hand as MPs rush out of the chamber. Fox pushes through to the Prince.
Rather good. Government majority of thirty.

PRINCE OF WALES   Government? Thirty?

DUKE OF YORK   You mean we haven’t won?

FOX   Well, we didn’t expect to win outright, not the first vote.

PRINCE OF WALES   I thought they liked me.

FOX   They will, sir, they will. In time.

PRINCE OF WALES   (furious) Time, time, always time! Now is the time, Charles. Now!
The Prince’s fury briefly silences the hubbub in the Lobby as the Prince and the Duke of York sweep out.

SHERIDAN   And that’s our boy.

FOX   God rot all royals. Give us the wisdom of America.

EXT. WESTMINSTER. COURTYARD. DAY.

Pitt, Dundas and Thurlow are parting. Other MPs also leaving the courtyard.

DUNDAS   But he will recover in time … surely?

PITT   What good is that? Once he’s made Regent the Prince will have him locked away in some Windsor hellhole and mad or sane no one will ever know.

THURLOW   You have been reading too many novels.

PITT   He has to recover soon or we are done for.
As he leaves them, Pitt is surprised to find Lady Pembroke waiting in the cloisters.

LADY PEMBROKE   Mr Pitt.

PITT   Lady Pembroke?

LADY PEMBROKE   Her Majesty understands that you are dissatisfied with His Majesty’s doctors.

PITT   The King is no better.

LADY PEMBROKE   Mr Pitt. My mother-in-law lost her wits, and a succession of physicians failed to recover them for her. There was, however, one doctor who was confident of her return to health, and accordingly she was placed in his care.

PITT   And is she recovered?

LADY PEMBROKE   Entirely. Rides to hounds. Founded some almshouses. Embroiders round the clock. I have written down his name.
She gives the note to Pitt.

EXT. LINCOLNSHIRE. DAY.

Against a flat Lincolnshire landscape silhouetted figures are engaged in rustic tasks. They are smartly dressed and well above the general run of farm labourers, genteelly (if somewhat ineffectually) tilling the soil. Elegant women pick potatoes, gentlemen hoe, ladies rake… all under the benevolent supervision of a severe figure in black: Dr Willis.

EXT. LINCOLNSHIRE. A FIELD. DAY.