Why did I kill them all? Why am I killing them now? What did they do to me? What did I ever want that I didn’t get? Who am I looking for out here in the wild? I must be stark raving mad. That old man in Ein-Husub called me a wretch. My mother is a wretch. And my father. For I killed Efrat, and that other baby before her, and turned Rimona into a corpse. And now I’m killing their son. And Zaro’s a wretch too. It’s only me who isn’t, because here I am, as happy as a lark, going straight to hell. Let Zaro give her a baby? Let my father die? What was I thinking of all those rainy nights when I wanted to pick up and go? Warmth? Life? Love? Pain and anger mixed? Is that what I was missing? To kill? To be killed? To destroy? No, he isn’t a wretch any more. In fact he’s on top of the world. He’s going to get Efrat.

Yonatan halted, wiped his face, and scratched his stubbly beard. He swallowed nearly half a canteen of water and strained to catch the slightest sound. There was none. But in the silent sky, a lightning-quick movement took place. A star bolted loose, traced a fiery arc across the firmament, and disappeared near the southern horizon. Its companion stars went on twinkling coldly, undismayed.

Yonatan adjusted his pack on his shoulders and shifted his rifle from his right hand to his left. He sniffed the air, then made up his mind to cut a little more to the north. Was that nearest hill on his right Jabel Butayir or Jabel-et-Teybe? Soon the moon would be up. But what was that rustling? A black shadow flitted past. A night bird? Am I the only thing breathing here? Or are they lying in wait for me, watching me this very moment? Quickly, with a light click, he cocked his rifle and stood stock-still. His heart beat wildly. He slipped shut the safety catch and forced himself to resume walking. Nothing to worry about. I’m heading straight for Wadi Musa. I’m not afraid because I don’t care. Not tired, not hungry, not thirsty. Efrat has a brave papa. And the night has just begun.

What’s out there? Who’s shining that light on me? Is that an enemy outpost? A Bedouin torch?

It was a softly muted, otherworldly light. A slight shudder ran along the ridge line, and then, red, enflamed, huge, the moon emerged from behind the Edomite range. In an instant the world was transformed. Bright swaths of moonlight streaked the swarthy mountainsides. Ripples of the pale light eddied in the plain. Lifeless silver flowed silently over the lifeless earth. Here and there, a rock loomed. Fast as he walked, Yonatan could not escape the shadowy specters that split off from his body, dancing in ghastly shapes.